Paper Duck

Come here

2011-11-03T12:02:00.002+05:00

In our search for soul mates, search for the perfects
I am searching for that one girl
You are searching for the right song
We search for that right street, with the crisp cold zing air
The right country, the perfect home
That elusive job, which doesn't tire us, or destroy our dreams

Maybe we don't search, we just yearn
Helpless or lazy, sitting here yearning
Almost tasting our happiness
Moved to tears by the perfects we see
Just out of our reach

Today

2011-10-06T10:10:00.000+05:00

I'm in a good mood
make the most of it
ask me for a free meal
ask me for a movie ticket

don't tell me I don't look good
don't tell me I don't sound right
don't go spoiling my good mood
I'll get damn pissed, and we'd fight

the fight would not end well,
you can count on it.
I'll make you pay for the meal
and the movie ticket.

HOOBASTANK

2011-10-06T10:01:00.001+05:00

Life Update

I have been sick for one and half weeks. Make that almost two weeks. I finally feel better today.
My one and half, no, two week sickness - my two week sickness made me super grumpy and on the whole upset about life. Nothing new there. But, it has also made me QUEEN OF ASSASSIN'S CREED.

cough*

We bought an Xbox. with Kinect.

----

I just discovered that Shift+x doesn't work in my laptop. What..why. I don't imagine it's an often used combination on my keyboard. TIME FOR A NEW.. ok no. I'll get it fixed. Ok, someone will get it fixed.

cough*

----

On other breaking news, DumbF'ingPigeons (TM) entered my house on a covert mission - through an unimaginably small opening in the window - and shat all over the place. But, Thank You DumbF'ingPigeons (TM) for not shitting on my TV, or my xbox, or my futon or anything fancy. Thank you.

But, if you ever come back, I'll Kill Ya...Kill ya... kill ya (if you have not watched The Lion King, shoot yourself)

----

I ate some suspicious tasting peanut chikki thing. Apparently one bad peanut can spoil the whole lot. How unfortunate. I also ate some jackfruit chips - I'm not a big fan though. But one bad jackfruit cannot spoil the whole lot. Well, except the lot made from that jackfruit. I like jackfruit ice cream though.

Why has my cook not come today. Why.

----

I was watching the National Geographic channel (only because it is one of the seven HD channels we get - which includes STAR GOLD) and they were showing a piece on IKEA. That's when I realised. I want to work in IKEA. I'm not saying it's my dream job, but lets just say - that would have been a great idea. I could have designed furniture. Furniture bought the world over (barring some). I could've sat there and discussed furniture ideas with other furniture designers in a good climate location in Europe or some place. The work place would have been fancy and comforting and I don't suppose there are ever any FURNITURE DESIGNING EMERGENCIES which require me to work overnight.

I'm just saying, it looked like a happy place.

----

I have never used a sleeping bag in my life. I wouldn't know if they are comfortable or not. I have slept on mattresses laid out on the floor. Is it the same thing?

----

I'm turning 25 soon.

Holiday Jollyday

2011-10-06T09:38:00.000+05:00

Today is a holiday
oh I could just sing

but the neighbours may not like that
then again, I put up with their shit

Today is a holiday
oh I could just dance, and shout and be me r r y
what a feeling
a holiday
in the middle of the week

The whole day lies in front of me
I can just eat shop and watch TV

and now I have tata sky HD
which makes me all the more happy

to be here
at home
alone
on a wonderful HOLIDAY

ok I miss you come back

Dignified what.

2011-10-06T09:31:00.000+05:00

I wish I had the ability to maintain a dignified silence.
I don't have that ability and I can't fake it.
I would come across so much cooler (or so it seems) in any adverse situation, if I knew how to just stop talking post a point.

Example:

Irritating Person: You are an asshole.
Cool Me: ----
Irritating Person: EY MAN, I SAID YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE
Cool Me: Blink, -----
Irritating Person: HEY WHAT. useless.
Cool Me: Smirk.

But No.

I'm a screamer. I get angry, worked up and before I can get to framing a complete sentence in my head composing what my feelings are any given moment, its gone out of my mouth.

So it goes

Irritating Person: You are an asshole.
Me: YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE AND SO IS YOUR DOG
Irritating Person: (looks wounded) Timmy is not bad ok.
Me: WHATEVER I DON'T CARE. NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.

stomp
stomp
stomp

Sometimes, it is Not a bad thing. In fact, I wouldn't say that my behaviour in this respect has ever gotten me into any significant trouble.

But it just seems so much more stress-free to just be calm and maintain a dignified silence.

Never.

The strangest thing

2011-09-20T10:47:00.001+05:00

This morning, I woke up at 8 AM,and then again at 8.05, at 8.10 and 8.15..well you get it, it was a marathon snooze with a 5 minute alarm break.I finally got out of bed at 9 AM.

Well, in terms of some background to the rest of this story, my firm has come up with this new rule where everyone needs to be in by 11AM sharp - so sharp it cuts you (cough), what I mean is, you come in at 11.01 and half day gets taken as leave. Ouch. I know it's pretty reasonable to expect associates you pay a lot of money to, to be in by 11. It's just that, none of us are used to it after years of crawling in by 11.30. Did I mention it's a new rule.

Second point to note in terms of background info - I got married this year. So, I'm already 15days up and over my leave entitlement AND I need to apply for leave for Diwali (cough). Yes, it may seem as a bit much - but that apart, you now understand how important it is for me to preserve these little half day cuts. A seemingly simple way to do that - come on time.

Third point to note - you know, background - I have been in one mega bad mood funk. I don't know what the deal is, not for the life of me. All is good in life and yet the smallest things make me want to Scream my head off. Just scream. I haven't done it yet - how. Where does a respectable person go to just scream her lungs out without attracting unnecessary attention.

So, I wake up at 9AM. If I leave home by 9.30AM, no problem. Can be at work by 10.30. well in time. But no. I decide that knowing what happened in the last elimination round on Masterchef Australia is far more important. I reason that even if I leave by 10, I should reach easily by 10.45.

So I watch master chef, see that Shannon is safe in the competition, eat my omelette and leave by 10. I get a cab with this elderly Muslim gentleman and ask him to whisk me away to Nariman point. But, sir, please could you take the Kalachowki route and then chaar rastha. KABOOM.

Mistake no.1. The route is completely jammed.

Mistake no.2. I don't have money to pay the cab driver, which means stopping at the ATM near office, which means 15 minutes more than otherwise.

So, by now my screaming problem has kicked in. I am red in the face from an effort to keep calm. And my poor old driver is having a lot of trouble hearing me. Which isn't helping my situation but God forbid I scream at him, I'd never forgive myself.

I take a few deep breaths, and wait. It's now 10.45 and it will take me 5 minutes at least to reach office. I have Rs. 110. Not enough to cover the cab. I then check my change, another 12 rupees. Still probably not enough to cover the cab. No escaping the ATM visit.

We reach my office building, there is a massive traffic jam between there and the ATM place. I decide to ask my cabbie how much the meter says. He says, just give me what you feel like.

I thought he didn't understand my question. So I ask him again. He says, well you travel here everyday, just give me whatever you usually pay to get here.

I told him his meter reading may be for more, so to just let me know how much. He refused. So I oaid him the 122 rupees as it usually takes me about 120 bucks to get there. He says thank you, and god bless you and drives away.

I get out, get to office by 10.55.

I don't understand what happened.

He isn't from my area and doesn't know I come here everyday.
He did not know that I didn't have money.
He refused to check the meter for God knows what reason - despite me telling him itbmay be showing more than what I generally pay.
If he hadn't done that, I would definitely have been late.

I don't get it, it was the strangest feeling stepping out of that cab. Like someone was asking me to just relax and take it easy, and things would work themselves out

Alright then

Love

2011-09-14T00:38:00.000+05:00

I could just drown
eyes closed and smiling
in the sweetness of it all

Unlike bread

2011-06-21T15:39:00.000+05:00

Somethings grow stale but they never grow old
They just linger on, visit again, set off reminders in your head of a different time
They annoy you, shame you, make you shudder thinking of how they may have affected your life
But they just don't go away

Some people, some clothes, some songs and some words
Grow so stale, yet they all have their effect on you - never grow old

...

2011-06-18T00:40:00.000+05:00

Hello Mr. Large Nose
How did you become an actor

My dad is a politician
and money was a factor

Hello Mr. Stupid Face
Why did you buy that red car

My girlfriend said she would leave me
for the guy who runs the 'Bull Frog' bar

Hello Mr. Think twice
Where did you go last night

I wanted to dance to hip hop
but then I decided to sleep tight

Hello...
You all have dumb names anyway

Decision

2011-06-18T00:37:00.000+05:00

How about a signal? I will signal to you
Red means stay
Green means go
Yellow means I'm a coward
and you are a whore

My heart beats green,
but go with red.
I'll listen to that damned Coldplay song instead

yellow.

urge

2011-06-18T00:30:00.002+05:00

This space has been dead and there has been no urge to write. To be fair, my friend Rorschach has already said this. But he has borrowed my words before, and since mine are on long vacation - I shall borrow his.

In my case though, i'm not sure it is entirely honest. The statement. There has been no urge for me to write what is permissible to be written in this space. The qualifier. That dear qualifier completes my sentence. It brings it meaning. Who is to say what will be your qualifier in your life, what will bring your life that completeness and meaning.

and how she rambles after such a long break. can we stop reading now

no wait. I have some more

Tamil movies. They are so shady post 11p.m. Yet here I am in complete drunken state watching them. In a way, its comforting to not have to see size minus ones and zeroes and whatever the fuck else they've come up with nowadays to describe really thin women. Yes, they look great but they have denied themselves a lot to get there and one can only hope it was worth all the food missed.

If it was pure genetics, man. screw them.

I wish I could've been a model. Then again, I was always allergic to cigarette smoke and I do love food. But whenever I pass the giant Zara ad on my way out of Phoenix Mills, I can't help but imagine myself standing there with a gaunt face and hunched up shoulders, pouting. Pouting that perfect pout - you might find the anorexic figure of me repulsive but some girl will look up at me and say - I want that dress.

Just, I want that dress

I do want that dress.

...

Please don't go, I have some more.

Umbrellas

what about them

I'm not sure about whether I like them.

I'm not sure if I like umbrellas. Am I happy they keep me dry. Do they even really keep me dry.

Seems like off late all they do is cause me massive disappointment and make me realise how completely incapable of handling basic responsibility I am.

I have lost (almost) 2 umbrellas in the past one week. One is lost for good - the other, since my friend dropped me home today, she has had the good sense to take the thing home.

Damn you umbrella. Who are you to make me feel this upset. Stupid piece of plastic crap.

....

Do you think you believe in alternate universes. Alternate lives. That with each huge decision you have in front of you which has a THIS WAY or THAT WAY situation attached - you are actually carving your life from then on out to go forth with one decision while the other goes with the other.

Lets say....You quit work, and you stay at work - the decision actually comes before you to be made - do you think, that stomachy feeling you get while making such decisions is actually a side effect to the creation of an alternate universe.

Do you think you and I live happily together in an alternate universe.

I gave an example of work, let's stick to that shall we? So basically there is a me out there who makes invitation cards or takes photographs for a living and there is a me here who continues as life is. If this phenomenal alternate universe creating ability truth were to be revealed to you - would you feel happier making the dumbass decision of continuing with life as is - or would you leave that to your alternate self.

Does that matter.

....

I broke an entire bottle of pickle this morning. So the pickle is also wasted because it may have bits of glass in it now. It was a pickle which really made me happy. Lime pickle. The other pickle couldve gotten messed - but no, it was this lime pickle.

Maybe the other bottle broke in an alternate universe. snicker*

Fuck you.

Seriously.

Love song

2011-04-29T10:36:00.002+05:00

First thing in the morning
I think of you
Today I also thought of spinach soup
Yesterday it was all about hula hoops
But nothing comes right before
A thought of you

First thing as I wake up
It's always you
Along with unfinished dreams of
Large blue infinity pools
Even the craziest nightmares
Its only you
Running out first thing in the morning
To my rescue

Thank you for saving me from TRex today
Yesterday you got me tickets to Coldplay
Day before the day before, I forget
But you were there nice and early, to make my day

Sticker Heaven

2011-04-29T10:34:00.003+05:00

Get me a job in a sticker factory
I would never complain
And I'd give you some for free

Do you know anyone who doesn't like stickers? No really, do you. Tell me who. They may have some serious problems boss. Have a quiet chat, suggest some THERaPy! Ok, ok, calming down now.

I love stickers. I love even pointless stickers. Yesterday I got a few tshirts we'd ordered delivered to me at work. It came with four tiny free stickers. I was so fucking kicked! Aaa. I used to have a sticker album when I was in London (read - when I was nine). That was mostly because all the girls in my class used to have one and in the break or whatever free class - they'd sit and pour over each others' collections. So my parents not wanting me to feel left out, got me an album and some stickers as well.

They were really nice stickers - but i got duped into taking torn ones or unsticky ones in exchange for mine. (There's a really long background story to my whole London experience here - but I won't go into that right now. Basically the girls treated me like shit most of the time because I was puny and spoke funny) Anyway, it didn't take me long to figure out what they were doing but continued with my naive act so they'd at least talk to me and I could pretend I had some friends.

I think I should go get a sticker album now. I have a decent collection still - i can't help but pick up some of these ultra cute stickers I see. Ok yay something do to (which isn't work).

Yesterday I sat and created some stickers. It was super wonderful. Well I like them.

Ok bye

Heal

2011-04-08T11:55:00.001+05:00

It is beautiful to cry
To release your inside world of pain
Of real sorrow, real sadness
To release what would have otherwise eaten you alive
To feel that incredible burden reduce with each drop
With each trickle
Feel the sharp intake of breath slow,
Gain an alarming rhythm only to change
Into one which rocks you to sleep

2011-04-04T17:47:00.000+05:00

Looks like, looks like
she's been forgotten
the slate is clean and he couldn't care less

wiped right off the face of his earth

Life goes on

It gets boring, it gets weird, it gets complicated

Wrinkles form

Get ironed out

and then, life goes on

Glory

2011-02-11T14:09:00.000+05:00

It's my day
It's my glorious bloody day
and I want to be
the Shining Wow

Do you understand?
I won't always have my day
Neither will you
Now is the time to be
the Shining Wow

Cause the aahs and the oohs
Cause them all to go
Wow

She is shining.
It's her day

Will Power

2011-01-31T21:26:00.000+05:00

I lack will power.

No, it's not always a bad thing. I realised this part of the 'I lack will power' series of thought very recently. It's become, 'I lack will power but that may be ok' now. Earlier? Oh earlier it was 'I lack will power bloody argh f. it all'.

Yes, coming back to my great Realisation. I was thinking through my lack of will power and wondering how well I'm going to make it in life love friendship world domination what not. I realised that a lot of stuff I cannot live without now in my life, I would have destroyed for good if my will power not being its lazy self, had been active and about.

I wouldn't be surprised if this post turns out to be one of those - oh she has something to say but this is such a public forum she wont say it she's just wasting our time bloody argh f.it all. It might guys, it just might. I've given you fair and lovely warning now, run along if you like.

No?

I suppose its a lack of will power combined with my ability to try and make dumbass decisions. Like - oh I am so angry I want to break my phone, break it break it break it - nah. Not the best example I know.

Pfuh. time to give up on this post.

I guess in a very convoluted way - what I've actually realised is the whole 'everythings for the best - dont worry about it' philosophy works for me. Because I lack will power to change my life - and often that has lead to my life working out just super for me.

YOU LACKED THE WILL POWER TO STOP READING SO DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT MY STUPID POST OK.

love*

Pay me for Building Photos or Buy me an Ipad (this summarises the entire post - don't bother reading)

2011-01-31T21:12:00.000+05:00

What am I doing now.

I am browsing 'architecture' - 'photography' in Deviant Art. It's a website. No I won't give you the link. Just go Google it. Ok not NOW.

Have I lost you? Hello?

Ok, anyway, trooping on. I am browsing 'architecture' - 'photography' and there are some really nice photos here of really nice (ok don't go look) houses, bridges, roads, buildings, rooms, beds and lights.

I would like you to pay me to take photos of buildings around the world. Are you listening? (Only bother listening if you are very rich and are willing to pay me very lots of money for something I have only shown about 10/100 talent in - and some of that 10 is helped along by pure 'fluke').

Fluke. I wonder if people use that word or if its just used in Chennai. I don't remember the last time anyone used that word. Hm.

Fluke.

Fluke describes quite a bit of my life actually. I don't mind at all. I'm so lazy, Fluking is the best thing that happens to me.

I suppose, fluking is a good thing to happen to anyone.
Fluking - I'm not sure that's a word. But my auto-correct isn't attempting to correct me. So, it is then.

Back to paying me lots of money for photos of buildings.

Actually, try doing that or just buy me an I-pad.

Scream Room

2011-01-31T20:59:00.000+05:00

I'm not entirely sure of how normal this might be. Anyhow. I have come up with one way in which life at work - in my office - could be made better.

Idea:

Create a Scream Room

Things Needed:

1. Room.
2. Soundproofing substances
3. Cushioning for the walls
4. Breakable objects such as: a. Big Ugly Vase; b. Large Framed Photograph of X; c. Old Monitor etc.
5. Full Body Suit - to prevent any injury to person wishing to use the Scream Room.
6. Boxing Bag and Gloves
7. Comfy Corner - with tissues, music player (in unbreakable box - in case some people get bored of the vase), juice and cookies. For crying you doofus.
8. Some guy who will set up the Scream Room, replace broken objects and occasionally join you inside for a (uncreepy) dance and jig, and listen to you bitch for 20 minutes and slap you if you request it.

Purpose:

You need me to spell it out? Really? I thought not.

Results:

Hypothetically - Happier Employees.

Resolutions: New Year

2011-01-11T00:22:00.000+05:00

There are a few resolutions I make and break every year. The most consistent one being "I will stop being so bitchy and will not constantly judge people". Every single year. If I were a smoker (I'm not), I'd have found it far easier to quit smoking than to quit bitching. Well, that's a pretty silly line - given that I'm not a smoker and I couldn't possibly know how hard it is to quit. But, even if I were to grant it to all you smokeheads that it is super f.ing difficult - this is more.

Ok enough.

The next are usually - be a nicer person. Try and do something good for the community. Try and learn to play an instrument. All, always broken.

This year, one new year's day, I was taken to this tamil movie called "Easan".

It. was. excruciatingly. depressing

I can't tell you - it covered the entire range of depressing topics known to man. Politics, corruption, murder, incredibly bloody violence involving a lot of very very heavy metal objects landing on underaged people of all sorts, prostitution, eve teasing, rape, rape. Gang rape. rape of a speech-impaired girl. repeated rape.

I resolved never to watch a depressing movie again. I was so angry at my cousins for taking me to watch that movie.

Movies, for me, are supposed to take you somewhere happy. To let you escape into a world you don't mind sacrificing a couple of hours for. Not to bring you down to hell. Not to make you believe there isn't any hope left in this world. That noone could convince you to have a child - that not even you are such a sadist.

Ugh

I hate that movie. I hate it.

The rest of new years was lovely. This is going to be a big year and I can't wait to get on with it.

Consider this

2010-12-22T12:23:00.001+05:00

I know a whole bunch of single people. People who are not in a relationship. Some who have just gotten out of one, some who have never been in one, some who are in something but which is not a relationship and some who I don't know but are single - so I suppose these people don't fall in the "I know a whole bunch of single people" category - but in the "I know Of a whole bunch of single people as well" category. I've heard their stories.

I am not a single person. I haven't been a single person, since, forever. So, there it is - their grass and my grass and the question on quality of / intensity of greenness arises.

My side:

I have been dating the boy who is now my fiancé for six years - completed tomorrow. It's been a crazy six years and we finally achieved what we feel to be an equilibrium state in our relationship where things are going good. Then we decided to get married because it made sense. We had been together very long, we didn't want to not be together ever - ta da. Of course, then comes the (awaited) panic strike. "Boy, I will not be with another person, (again)". Now the 'again' is in brackets because I have never really been with anyone else to start off with. So, this automatically makes me the center of the usual question: Wow, are you sure about this, you will never date another person? No more for you. You are an aun.. I'll stop there.

Well. I'm an easy person to freak - and this type of blah de dufus does get me thinking. Oh boy.

Their side:

The entire world has opened up / has been open for a while, for them. It works fine for those who aren't looking for a relationship - they just cruise along, have their fun, free of responsibility, of serious thoughts on where to be, how to grow up elegantly and how to not kick and scream as the last light of childhood blinks a couple of times and disappears. (Ok looks like we're still on my side).

However, it's impossible to not think of where your life is going. Who will you meet. Will you meet that one person who makes you go "HELLO THERE" followed by some preferred music and a couple of dance moves by your heart. Will you will you will you. It would be fine if only 'will you' was the question - the more crash and burn question is 'what if you don't'.

India isn't quite your wonderland for single people, it seems to be extremely difficult to get anything going. Again, this is only based on what I've heard my friends tell me. Well, to meet someone you need a place - a situation - a comfort zone where anybody there is looking for something similar. Usually, you would suggest a pub. A nice drinking place. But the general mindset doesn't allow a comfort zone creation even in a pub. The probability of rejection is overwhelming.

Ok forget pubs, meet friends through friends through friends. That does work. But then, you need to carry along all your life's worth of luck with you.

Workspace - mostly, a bad idea.

College - the easiest place to find someone. They are forced to see you day after day. It is never one of those - oh I'll never see this person again let me get all nervous act like a fool and lose the chance forever. You can take your time, make your move. Especially in a university like mine - which was situated in a village and you spent five years with the same people - it works. However, if you have the luck of being stuck in a college where absolutely noone is compatible - pfeh.

All in all - its one giant (and seemingly frustrating) effort.

GREENNESS:

Ok so the proverb goes " the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side ". I don't know about that. I know some people who would love to be on my side - yet most of them are also glad they aren't here yet.

I'm happy being on my side. I don't care much for grass anyway. I'm more a sand and beach sort of person. and my view is looking good.

breathe deep

2010-12-21T16:00:00.000+05:00

I don't want to be taken there. I want to be there, now. I want to be where the weather is chilled, but not freezing. Where the sun is shining through and the air feels crisp and delicious. I want to sit there, on the lawn. I want to lie down, look up at green green green trees. I want to hear birds, I want to hear the rustle of leaves, the breeze, I want to hear nothing more.

I want to lie there, endlessly, taking it all in. Feel happy, free. Feel alive and well. Then I will smile and you will know, that you want to be there with me.

Photo(s) of the (Tues)day

2010-12-21T13:54:00.000+05:00

granted - I did sexy it up a bit online. But I really like this photo. Here's the original as well.

and some more from that day. un sexied up.

sniff.

2010-12-21T11:12:00.000+05:00

Apparently,

Well... I heard

her name is Sheila.

Sheila ki jawani.

and she's too sexy for me.

She wont be mine. She simply wont be mine.

I feel pretty sad about that. Pretty sad.

Disappear off the face(book) of the earth (haha)

2010-12-21T11:10:00.001+05:00

There have been few times in my life when I've felt like I wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. Remember Sita - remember how she felt when Rama doubted her fidelity for the third time. She wanted the earth to open up and swallow her.

Well, I suspect that the current day Sita would satisfy herself by deactivating her facebook account. That's about as close as you can get to disappearing safely nowadays.

_____

Hah, read this again and realised you guys may get the wrong idea about why I quit FB (in any case I'm back again so this is redundant) but I did because I got a little sick of how I've started feeling on FB. and

well another post another day.

2010-12-21T03:05:00.003+05:00

wonderbot's got a new post guys. please to check if interested in what my Monday went like.

An Idea can Change your Life

2010-12-21T01:50:00.001+05:00

An Idea can also Ruin your life, stupid Abhishek Bacchan. Why don’t you tell people that ha? An Idea can f.ing kill it for you. It could be the end of your entire (difficultly achieved) understanding of happiness. It is the most dangerous and sly amongst all the causes of absolute despair and dead-ends.

You know – your brain is like a monkey. Well, I’m not entirely sure if monkeys behave this way – but I have heard that cap story. You know, there’s the cap seller who takes rest under a tree and the monkeys come and take away all his caps. He jumps around trying to get it back, but it doesn’t work. Then he takes the cap off his head and throws it to the ground, and all the monkeys do the same. Hmm.

Actually, I’m not sure whether the brain is like a monkey. The point is, the more you tell yourself, your brain, not to think of something – not to think of doing something, calling someone, seeing somebody, saying – talking – being – feeling – whatever it may be, the opposite - that is exactly what it does.

Have you seen Inception? Well watch it. It really proves my point. It shoves and pushes it off the highest building till the point is splattered in a bloody mess all over the pavement below. It does the trick.

Leo Dicaprio. He plays around with Ideas. Ideas which changes lives. He plants an idea in his wife’s head. An idea that their world isn’t real. That her world isn’t real. He thinks (f. Right, he doesn’t think) that this would help her to end this life in the dream world and come back to reality. He doesn’t realise (dumbf..k) that this idea would plant, grow, grip, strangle his dear wife. She cant shake it. It catches hold of her. She cannot get rid of the idea that every world she enters is not real.

Well. Leo. Well done. She dies. (or does she etc etc - but thats another story). YOU GET MY POINT ANYWAY. ARGH

What can I say – once an idea gets in your head – the kind that is definitely not good for you – it is very difficult to chuck it out. Very difficult. The better it is for your life – the faster it slips along. The worse it can do – the harder it holds on.

I want to shoot the TV when that Idea ad plays again.

Shoot it. There’s a good idea.

and it’ll be gone soon.

-------------------

After writing this post I went back to reading the Ramayana. and there she was - Kaikeyi. The book says, she loved Rama more than she did her own son. She was Thrilled that he was to be king. Then came her hunched old maid - Manthara. She planted a seed in her mind - an idea in her head. That her son and she would be ruined if Rama was to be king. It grew, it took over and the rest is history. or, well, in this case, mythology.

In da Mood

2010-12-17T15:14:00.000+05:00

I like flash games and I cannot lie
you other brothers can't deny
when you have some work, some irritating thing
and your boss is in your face
you get

sprung?

Ok, I was hoping to make glorious poetry on the tune of 'Baby Got Back - Sir Mix a Lot'. But, clearly, I am no Sir Mix a Lot. I could be

Miss Talk a lot.
Miss Whine a Lot.
Miss who flashes her Fake Smile a Lot

Miss Bitch a Lot
Miss Crib a Lot
Miss Eat and Sing and Sleep a Lot

Miss Want a Lot
Miss Got a Lot
Miss Shop Non-Stop and Spend a Lot

Miss Write a Lot
Miss Rhyme a Lot
Miss still ain't no Sir Mix a Lot

I'm a rockstar.

What's up Guys - Long time no post. No long post. No post worth its weight in wood. Decent wood, not the very expensive wood.

As you may have noted - I'm in a mood.

Buh

2010-12-14T18:40:00.002+05:00

I want a burger
I want a bur ger
I want a buh rger
I want a
buh,
forget it.

I want to go home.

:)

2010-12-06T08:22:00.000+05:00

Yesterday - my boyfriend became my fiancé by the sweetest proposal I could have hoped for.

and the nicest ring.

Goes to show me that I can plan things out in my head all I like, attempt to construct and control every moment of my life but sometimes it may be wise to trust someone else with me.

I had my real princess moment, and I'm well and way over the moon. There are very few times when you can honestly say 'that was perfect' - usually with food, sometimes with music, and sometimes in life.

Yesterday was perfect.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Photo(s) of the (Mon)day

2010-11-29T23:23:00.000+05:00

exhaust
sheet
you look beautiful together

lesson #4

2010-11-29T23:02:00.001+05:00

Everybody who loves you
is almost always right about you

te amo

2010-11-29T23:00:00.002+05:00

I will be the beans, and darling
I will be the rice too
I will be the big cheese,
All wrapped up in a burrito

I will be your Chimichanga baby
I love you

LOVE

2010-11-27T13:22:00.000+05:00

Grapes are yummy, so are oranges. I love grapes and oranges. I could eat them all day.
Papaya with lime and sugar.

I love papaya with lime and sugar.

I love pineapple juice. It makes me happy. I prefer canned to fresh though.
I also love pineapple in my pizza.

I love mutter paneer. I love paneer all soft and yummy. I love paneer tikka I love paneer makhanwala I love paneer parathas.

I love onion parathas. I love onion parathas you get at the dhabha near my college, with the chunky raita. I love chunky raita with chunky tomato pieces chunky curd bits and cucumber. All salty juicy yummy goodness I love it.

I love chinese food all salty yummy sweet sour madness. I love pakchoy. I love bamboo shoots. I love curry

I love curry, I love thai green curry, thai any curry, morrocan broth or spanish stew I love it. I love broths. I love it with nice fluffy light steamed white rice. I love rice

I love it with sambar, with rasam, with curd. I love curd rice.

I love curd rice with pickle, mango pickle, lime pickle, tomato pickle. I love pickle.

Its so easy to love food. I love it.

Sicko

2010-11-16T16:27:00.000+05:00

I've fallen sick. I feel miserable and want nothing more than to curl up and lie still. I woke up, had a bath and then started feeling absolutely pathetic. Then came the decision of whether to head to work or not. I knew I had a lot of work. So I just sat down for a few minutes, attempted to convince myself that I am not sick at all, and then stepped out.

Went down and into bright bright burning sunshine. Realised this was a bad idea. Walked back to my elevator.
Then stopped. Called my mom, to ask her what I should do. My mom who is sitting cities away, had to make my decision.

She didn't pick up. Walked back to get a taxi. Stopped. Tried my mom again. Tried my boyfriend. He picked up, told me to not go if I feel that horrid. Agreed with him, and hopped into a taxi and gave directions to my work place.

About ten minutes in the taxi, asked him to turn back and drop me home. He did. My mom called, told me to go to work as maybe the work would distract me from feeling this bad - as there did not seem to be any specific reason for me to be sick. Ok. By now, I was back outside my apartment.

Went to the chemist. Picked up some tablets, all ready to head home and get some rest. Hopped into a taxi and gave him directions to work.

Reached work. Felt sick. Ran for a call. Felt sick. Tried working on a document, felt sick. Tried eating some lunch. Finally, that did it. I could barely think straight or move right. Decided to head home.

Headed home.
At home. Feeling miserable and sick.

This could have been easier you think, but it seldom is with me.

Any time I feel sick, I feel like I'm being punished for something I've done wrong. Usually I succeed in identifying the so-called wrong thing. This time, no clue. So maybe I'm not being punished. I just want to sleep, but I have work. Work that needs to be addressed, finished, sent and reviewed.

I think I may have fever.

On the true meaning of “the suspense is killing me”

2010-11-12T01:42:00.000+05:00

I am not a patient person. I am physically and mentally incapable of waiting for anything.

I cannot wait for a taxi for more than five minutes before I start losing my temper. Before I start tapping my foot till it hurts. Before I go "ARGH" in my head a couple of times. Before I go "ARGH" out loud a couple of times.

I cannot wait for my food for more than half hour after I have ordered it. Not without grabbing at my stomach and exclaiming "I'm Hungry!" out loud every two seconds. Involuntarily, believe it or not.

I cannot give a print out of 100 pages and wait for the printer to finish choking on every other page before spitting out my entire copy in more or less one piece. I cannot do that without attempting to hurt it physically, almost expecting it to go "ouch". Then stroking it where I hit it, by way of an "Oh all right I'm sorry. Now come on".

When I turn a laptop or computer on, I cannot sit still and wait for it to wake up in ease. I must click. Type. Tap the screen. Jam the damn thing till I'm forced to shut it down against its will and try the whole process over again.

I cannot wait two seconds for my tube light to flicker on - I need to turn it on and off three times in the hope that that somehow helps it make its decision to give me light.

The word "Loading" makes me clench my fist. The words "Loading, please wait" make me clench tighter.

Because, I cannot wait.

I want everything now. If I know about something, it needs to happen immediately. I am spoilt rotten you think? Well, maybe so. But I am incapable of waiting.

The suspense depresses me, plays with my head, sinks me down in deep sorrow and frustration and then finishes me off for good. Killer suspense.

Well, will let you know soon enough what has been causing me so much trouble that I was pushed to write this post - why I've been away this long and what next. I have a problem with suspense - I don't suppose you do. So wait.

Are you where you should be?

2010-10-26T22:38:00.000+05:00

Last week I was in London. For the entire week. I went for some corporate training course and extended that into a very nice short holiday in an incredible city. It was a perfect trip because, unlike my other holidays abroad, I was able to get a taste of pretty much everything.

We stayed in a 'studio apartment' of a cousin of a husband of a friend of mine. Well, it was called that but looked nothing like the image that may have sprung to your mind at the mention of those words. It was a small apartment. It had all the basics. It was cramped yet could have been easily categorised as comfortable accomodation for two if the furniture could be re-arranged (read: thrown out) a bit.

So I got a taste of staying in an actual (suburban) residential neighbourhood.

We had to travel all the way from Ealing Broadway to Canary Wharf to get to the office where we had our training. 'We' being me and my friend whose husband's cousin's studio apartment we were staying in. In order for you to appreciate what I mean by 'travel all the way', here:

So yup. I got to travel a long distance to work like any regular peter in London. All wrapped up and un-wrapped in the hot tube, wrapped up on way to work, unwrapped in office. so on.

Then, since the visit wasnt the usual - oh stay for four days and see all there is to be seen of London (that is in a tourist guide / recommended on the internet / printed on the souvenir tshirt we bought too early) - I got to actually eat out at pretty normal places, go to a musical, hang out with some friends, get tired, get sleepy and head home to watch some tv and crash.

I lie. I never watched tv - well except for the most unfunny version of whose line is it anyway (British) which I watched every morning.

So while living what felt like would have been my normal life had I lived in London, I constantly wondered if the city was for me.

Well. It was perfect. The roads. The trees. The sky. The houses. The office. The places to visit. To be in. Everything was perfect.

Too fucking perfect.

For instance. While we were travelling to Canary Wharf, we need to take the 'District Line' followed by a switch to the 'Jubilee Line'. But, there was some sort of massive reconstruction something something happening with the underground - so - as a result the Jubilee F.ing Line kept going off service. So, one such time, we found ourselves in an over crowded Bank station. The announcements are repetitive and basically telling everyone to stay calm and walk on the right hand side of the station.

Noone. Made. A. Sound.

Nothing. Not one complaint. Not one extra heavy sigh. No tch. No fahk. Nothing.

It was like ZOMBIELAND. They formed their line, they waited, walked, stood, and stared.

I could have screamed.

It was then I realised that perfect was not my thing. I disliked perfect. Made me want to lash out. To dirty. To tear. To break something. I could not wait to get home.

However, after I got back - to smelly and hot Bombay - I was not entirely sure about London. About the great Abroad. I felt pretty certain I belonged in India, but I wanted a defining moment. A clear stamp.

I am at work - its 11pm - and an associate offered me some Vada Pav.

I bit into it and I knew quite easily. I got my stamp and my defining moment. Home is where the food that makes me happy is. It was spicy and yummy. My entire time in London I couldve cried for lack of food that made me remotely satisfied. Here it was. In plenty.

Food you love

Family you love

Get them both to the same place

and you'll be happy.

Ok maybe not you. but me. yup

In the loo

2010-10-11T16:29:00.001+05:00

ok so tell me what you think

wonderbot diaries is officially open

2010-10-10T14:33:00.002+05:00

that's about all I wanted to say actually. Go check it out - Wonderbot Diaries.

you cannot imagine how fun this is

2010-10-07T23:47:00.000+05:00

2010-10-07T23:03:00.001+05:00

for many a rough sunset with you

Birthday Gift of Awesome

2010-10-07T23:00:00.000+05:00

Hello

So as a birthday gift this year, my boyfriend got me a graphic tablet. Which is this device which allows me to draw and paint digitally. I cannot begin to describe how awesomely cool it is. So, my first (somewhat shaky) painting from my super graphic tablet coming up in the next post.

I am very Hungry

2010-09-24T01:10:00.000+05:00

It's 1.19 am and I am very hungry. I managed to leave work early today and get home early (with not much traffic and what not). The taxi ride cost me Rs. 132 and I had Rs. 140 with me. So, I couldn't order any food with Rs. 8. Well, nothing more than a small packet of chips maybe and I was not interested in a small packet of chips.

So I come home, open my fridge Praying that some of the Sexy baingan bharta my cook made this morning was left over. No such luck. No egg. No Maggi. All that's there is very old cold bread and some Mexican Mirchi cheese spread.

So I toasted two slices and ate them with the spread and some juice (not much of which was left in the carton, still). Well first I put them in the toaster, pushed the thingy down and ran to the loo to wash up so I can eat my 'dinner' all clean. I come back and the toast isn't nice hot and toasty. I go, 'shoot I broke my flatmate's toaster'. I push the bread about a bit, push the thingy a bit more. Change the timing. No luck. Then, stroke of genius, I decide to try another plug point. This is when I notice that I hadn't turned the switch on. It worked, the bread even got burnt a little.

Did I ever, ever claim to be an all-time bright person? Then?

Moving on. I proceeded to do some gift research online. Attempted to buy something from Amazon. Which charged me murder for shipping but I'm pretty sure that thing I bought cannot be bought here anywhere. Yes I am pretty sure. I checked some Indian websites.

Really. Ok well, if it can be bought here, I'd feel pretty stupid. There. What do you want from me.

Moving on. I then got bored of my research and decided to play GOD OF WAR (I) (its in brackets because it's actually just GOD OF WAR, but subsequently came GOD OF WAR II and GOD OF WAR III, not sure they were expecting that. ok I am rambling). The damn game is quite violent, not to mention, ahem, quite X rated (?). Well, there are naked women involved. Both God women and mortal women, naked. Semi-naked. Ok, anyway, the game is quite violent. So whenever they want to make Kratos (the main chappie) do something particularly difficult looking, they don't trust you to carry out a series of moves. Instead you're asked to press O. Then the game directs you to press a number of buttons as and when they appear on screen and then does all the hard work itself. Silly game. I enjoyed it.

Well except for one part, whenever they want to test your skills and make you do something like Kill a MEGA MONSTER (they're not actually called that), they required you to press one button (say O) REPEATEDLY. And the faster you do it, the better your chances of killing said MEGA MONSTER. I of course took this very seriously. As a result, many MEGA MONSTERS dead and my right arm is barely functional.

Also, I don't think Kratos ever dies. Or maybe I'm just a super sexy game player (no but seriously, I don't think he ever dies). He kinda looks like one of those guys from that dumb show. Roadies. But sexier. and more grey with a GIANT red tattoo thing.

Ok here.

No?

So after all the hard work and faffing (described above) I'm back to feeling hungry with no food. I think I should just drink some water and go to sleep. Man, I would love a veggie burger right now

YES, THERE IS such a thing as a vegetarian burger. Don't bug me now. Good night

with you

2010-09-24T00:46:00.000+05:00

I have a long weekend coming up (and by long I mean both Saturday And Sunday are off), and I cannot wait. I remember a time when I'd just moved to this city and dreaded the weekends as days which would just remind me of how few friends I had around, how the few of them had better things to do, and how much I missed the one person who tolerated me most successfully. Well, he's here now.

the sky

could be blue

I don't mind

Without you

it's a waste of time

- Coldplay, Strawberry Swing

how I love the song. how I love this line.

and how I love that it makes sense to me.

Wonderbot Diaries

2010-09-23T14:35:00.001+05:00

Hello my blog readers,

I have decided to start a new blog. Its called wonderbotdiaries.blogspot.com. You can find it in my list of blogs. I had originally started this blog with inspiration by James Kochalka. (He draws a comic for each day of his life and puts it up on his website, and its very entertaining). Well, eventually it just turned into a vent and bitch blog for me to write about all that was going wrong with my life - with noone but me to read it, but it was a dear diary blog. You understand.

Anyway, since I have been drawing a bunch of pointless little 'comic strips' on and off this blog, I have decided to try a new project and see if I can come up with one for at least two days in my week which describes something which happened to me in my life in that week.

Not very sure if I should set two fixed days seeing as the Photo(s) of the (wednes)day thing was not sustained (by me). In any event, this is the plan, thought I would let you guys know. Please to also check my sexy new blog and await small snippets on my life.

Why am I doing this? Some sense of purpose. I have always wanted to be an artist, or a photographer. I have always told myself these can be my hobbies as I pursue a professional course etc. Well, it turns out I have found no time to make my hobbies meaningful, no time to learn more and do more. Then I watched this movie Julie and Julia where she just sets this plan for herself. She decides shes stuck in a job she hates (which is not really the case with me) and she is super at cooking - so her husband asks her to try out every recipe in Julia Child's cookbook in a year. Its a challenge, and aim to follow through and her cooking gets better and everyones happy and theres also a blog involved somewhere.

Ok enough of this now. I hope to come through on this idea - let's see where it goes.

Thank you

Cranes, Birds and Sunset - Sexified

2010-09-20T18:47:00.000+05:00

I see you baby

2010-09-20T13:17:00.002+05:00

shakin' that ass
shakin' that ass

alright

Photo(s) of the (Mon)day

2010-09-20T10:42:00.003+05:00

Finally took some photos this weekend on siddharth's sexy tripod. Here they are

Grr.

2010-09-17T17:14:00.002+05:00

the saur us.

2010-09-14T18:33:00.000+05:00

So I get distracted a lot.

Do not call me incompetent.
Do not call me inefficient.
Do not call me slow, dull, inattentive, indolent, inert, lackadaisical, languid, tired, weary, slack, procrastinating, indifferent, shiftless

You may call me Faffy though.
And yes, I did randomly copy synonyms for lazy off the net.

Revised PJ Alert

2010-09-13T21:54:00.000+05:00

So I put up the previous post. Went back to work. Worked worked worked. Ordered some dinner. Went into the cafeteria to eat it. IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I see one of my colleagues sitting there in his sunglasses.

He has conjunctivitis.

Ta da.

Revised PJ Alert post was born. So was my paranoia. My eyes feel itchy.
Do they?

They don't.

Don't they?

Aargh

PJ alert

2010-09-13T18:34:00.001+05:00

I did warn you. I am having such a bad day. Such a terrible bad day. Mother of all Mondays.
Help

Gifts will help. Small ones also.
(yes I'm a slime)

ok bye.

I wouldn't say you're nothing without me.

2010-09-07T22:26:00.003+05:00

You would though.

sadistics

2010-09-07T19:59:00.001+05:00

thats supposed to be a clever play on Statistics.
I've been told I don't leave anything for interpretation. That I like to remote control everyone's thoughts and actions.
I believe that is spot on correct.

Fab, just Fab.

2010-09-07T19:08:00.003+05:00

It was, 'I love Fab India furniture'.

Anyone who knows me would tell you (well, depends really, if you know them as well. If you’re a complete stranger they may not be so forthcoming with the me-facts and fun trivia) (just saying) that I love Fab India furniture.

What furniture, forget that, I love Fab India. Simple.

Well, now that has become: 'I love most Fab India stuff, over-priced as they are and I love the furniture designs, but I hate Fab India furniture'.

Why.

I’m someone who needs my house, my living space, to look exactly as I choose. Which is why when my current flatmate and I went looking for houses when we got to this city, I was absolutely stubborn about not moving into houses which are already furnished.

Why(1):

Well, a number of reasons really:

I don’t like feeling like I live in a cheapo medimix hotel (please refer earlier post here to see what I mean by that).
People only leave furniture they Hate. They detest. Or that which may be possessed.
What, its true, it could be possessed. Or worse. We saw a fridge (yes I know fridge is not ‘furniture’ but it is a part of a ‘furnished house’) in one of those houses which I refused to let my flatmate open and check because I had this not-so-fun-tingly-tingly feeling that something (like a dead body, of a rat or person) may fall out at us.
I imagine all the oily stinky heads that may have rested against that sofa. Or the activities the previous tenants might have gotten up to on said sofa. Ahem. Need I say more.

If you live in a pre-furnished house, well. I’m not apologising. You should have thought things through.

Back to Why

So. I love having my house look like I’d like it to, and as mentioned earlier I used to love Fab India furniture. As soon as we moved in – I ran to the nearest Fab store and picked out my bed and book shelf.

Touchwood. Literally. Pun Intended. Whatever you call it.

Those two have mostly behaved. Well, except that lying down on my bed breaks my back. Ok, there I’ve admitted it. Everyone I know warned me about that damned Futon. But no. I loved it. I bought it. I suffer.

The book shelf is alright.

So, egged on by the great victory of the good bookshelf, I ventured into Fab again. This time with my parents. They kept saying, buy a dining table and chairs. I said no, no need. I just need a small breakfast table thats all.

Why (2)

Well frankly, a dining set would’ve cost a lot.

I loved the cool fold up breakfast table which I’d already seen at a friend’s house. And my tam brain was thinking – wah, not only could I use it to ‘Comfortably’ eat an entire meal, I could also use my laptop on it, and maybe it would serve well when someone decides to bring me a romantic breakfast in bed. Ooh, and with flowers. Maybe, there would also be some chocolate milk.

Mmm.

Back to Why

So, I got carried away. Spent 3.5k on that breakfast table. Went home happy.

Needless to say, I used the breakfast table all of Thrice.

Why (3)

Because I got too lazy ok.

It used to be folded up inside my room.

And I'd already have gotten my breakfast and settled comfy on the diwan-bed outside in the hall, in front of the tv, just minutes to go before I absolutely have to get out of the house and get myself to work. The idea of moving myself, getting to my room, dusting off the table, bringing a cloth to put on the table so that my cold juice doesn’t leave a mark on the wood. Etc. Etc. (ok maybe not too many etcs more.)

I just could not.

Back to Why

So the table was in my room all folded up. Against a wall.

So one day I was sitting at the edge of my bed, blankly staring at the space occupied then by the folded table, thinking nothing about the table, when suddenly I notice - A giant crack.

What.

Where did that come from. I haven’t even used this damn thing.

Ok, ok. I call my boyfriend. Whine. I calm down. I will speak to the sweet Fab people who sold me this. They will replace it.

REPLACEMENT 1.

Well, after some persuasion that the crack was always present – I got a new table within two weeks of having returned the older one.

Life went on. I decided to open it out and place a small coffee mug on it. For looks.

You know, just, make my room look like its from a sexy Homes R Us kinda magazine (I KNOW there is no such magazine).

After that I went to Chennai for a week. Came back

Well, how better to put it than – It was Broken. Splintered. Like my mug had magically called all its mug friends and had a jumping party On the table. (ok that does not make sense)

The damn table had collapsed. From the weight of my mug. Well, there was no better explanation. So I immediately sprung into action. Called my boyfriend and whined.

Whined some more.

He told me he’d come with me. Speak to those people. They’d somehow replace it.

REPLACEMENT 2.

This one wasn’t as smooth. Given that one side of the table was pretty much splintered wood. The shop fellow sweetly asked me if I had sat on it.

I didn’t reply.

But somehow, I have a feeling the look on my face gave me away.

He took the table back.

Long story short – well, shortening a long story and fast forward –ing three months from then. I take a colleague of mine and go to Fab. This is my tenth visit since the fateful day when the table was returned.

They see the black cloud hanging over my head and miraculously present a table just like mine from somewhere.

This time I had the good sense to examined the damn thing from all angles before taking it home. As suspected, there is a crack under one of the legs.

So i politely point out the crack which has so evidently been glued together.

Shop guy: What crack, I don’t see any crack.

Me: Um, there it is.

Shop guy: No.

Me: What do you mean! Its a large crack. Its the size of my thumb (I don’t have tiny thumbs).

Shop guy: No no, thats just the wood.

Me: I can see glue. Look, feel this man.

Shop guy: *feels the wood*. Feels fine.

Colleague: *breaks off the leg*. See. It broke.

Me: Give me my money back.

Shop guy: Stammer. What. You broke it.

Colleague: It was broken. Just give her her money back.

Manager: Ok, here you go.

The end.

Many months later .

I venture into the same Fab India. Everyone eyeing me warily (yes they remembered me). I spot an awesome dining table. I buy it.

Why (4)

....

Back to Why

I was so bloody excited about my dining table and two chairs. Cost me a bomb. But I felt it was worth it. That it was time to give Fab another chance. Anyway, who else would I turn to in my time of (furniture) need?

I even bought a giant lamp that goes with the table.

The chair broke. The leg broke. Followed by the seat.

(Alright, I'll admit. A few tears were shed along with the Whining this time.)

RETURN

I call them up. Tell them I’ll pay them to take the whole thing back.

Told them, Yes. Someone Did sit on it this time. But it was a Chair. It was to be expected. Don’t Push me. I’m a lawyer (Though I’m never sure why thats a valid threat given that I’m too f.ing lazy to file a case against them or take any such action anyway. And one look at me would tell them that I’m no Palkiwala yet).

They agreed.

Well.

Thats why.

And I have learnt my lesson. From now, I shall visit Fab, note the designs and get a friendly furniturewala to make uncannily similar stuff for me.

I tried Fab.

I really tried to be fair.

To do right.

But.

Bleddy.

Despicable Me

2010-09-01T19:56:00.000+05:00

As much as I don't like myself sometimes, I think there are so many people who don't like me more.
Maybe I'm a villain in the plot. You know, the 'life' plot. In the Truman Show version of your life, I would be a villain. Put in for some masala masti by the director (here God). Not an inherently evil villain, your life plot is not a superhero one. No, your life plot is at maximum either a comedy, or a romantic comedy, or a short sweet story on 'that's just how it is' or worst case, a drama. The villains in such plots are usually not inherently evil.

For instance:

Superhero movie - Villain - has powers to turn everyone to ash etc. Not me.
Drama, romantic / otherwise comedy, short sweet story - the angry boss, the nosy neighbour, the backstabber friend, the crazy aunt. Me

And no, I'm not the villain who turns from 'i want her dead' to 'aw, ok she's learnt her lesson'. No. I might even be the 'aw ok she's learnt her lesson. No wait, was that a crafty-i'm-up-to-no-good-suckers smile at the end?'.

Anyway, I saw despicable me recently. The villain was cute. he had cute minions. and cuter little girls. who had cute unicorns. what not. found love in life and turned good. Its a lovely movie, watch it.

it really is that simple

2010-09-01T16:25:00.001+05:00

since someone asked, this was drawn on yellow tissue paper.

I have a cold.

This was a clean tissue paper.

do not read this

2010-08-24T14:16:00.000+05:00

too much disobedience you are.

hello, long time no p.

2010-08-23T22:26:00.000+05:00

p = post. not pee. long time no pee would be a real problem.

hello.

Do I have anything to say? That is the question.

I am off home this weekend on a very-much impromptu trip.
I am broke.
I am loaded with work.
I am feeling sick from the Chinese food I just had for dinner (again) (again for both the feeling sick part and the Chinese food for dinner part)
I am doing quite yay generally.

I went grocery shopping last night and bought an awesome load of stuff. Including a packet of black eyed beans. How cute are they ha.

hello little beans.

Anyway.

I also bought some other chickpea what not stuff. I bought RIN SUPREME BAR WITH EXTRA 50 GMS. Tide. I bought three cartons of juice. Two Nestle Milk cartons. Family pack of ice cream. Some tooth brushes. Paste. Not an exhaustive list. Then the shopkeeper man told me there's a number I could call on for HOME DELIVERY (ta da). That was my reward for the good-girl shopping I did.

Then I watched "He's Just Not That Into You" on HBO. I like the movie. Made sense to me. I could identify with every kook character in there.

The girl who thrives on drama

The girl who gets a little nutty about being lied to

The girl who checks her hundred inboxes, phone, chat, mail, fb what not in anxiety.

The girl who.. ok, I identified with all the women in the movie.

and some men.

Let me not give too much away here.

Then I fell asleep while watching "Sleuth" which actually seemed like a really fun movie.

I miss some of my friends. Some of my non-friends. Makes me feel a bit quiet at times. But, you know what they say..ok not They.. I say.

Life is a road roller.

deep.

help you once

2010-08-17T11:16:00.000+05:00

Where do you place your precious life, love

How do you see it breathe and grow

Do you

Plan to leave it lying there, baby

At her feet, though she has no soul

Why did you let love in your life, love

Why didn’t you heed those warning signs

Curiosity

Got the better of your mind, baby

Now watch your world explode in front of your eyes

And when

your mind goes into multicolour lines

And when

your heart draws a blank

Let me

Come to you , come beat you up save you darling

Make you believe that you did fine

You didn’t

I’ll still, make you believe, that you did fine

Promise me though

Promise me that

You will

Learn to, just let love be, love.

Learn to let it go, when its time.

street garden

2010-08-16T12:20:00.000+05:00

When it rains,
it pours,

makes my taxi ride a poem,
how the windows sparkle

and the street lights become dandelions

for good reason, it cannot be captured right in a phone camera. or any camera.
this way I can feel all special in my head.

still, I'm sure you understand
it was all very beautiful

doodle - decorations (part of the 'jobless at work' series)

2010-08-13T15:31:00.000+05:00

yummy

i love drawing messybighairwomenfaces.

ok so this isnt a doodle, but the fate of my paratha wrap.

I feel sick and want to go home. and sleep. blergh.
i hate hangovers

There is the door

2010-08-12T12:03:00.000+05:00

When life gets good, its good

When it gets too good to be true, its super

But there is always that nagging feeling

This can’t be right (therefore the too good to be ‘true’ bit hitting its mark).

and

If I’m this happy, I’m about to get that sad.

It is not a joke. It is not a myth. It is true.

Life gets good, then it gets too good to be true, then it all comes crashing down.

This is only to let you have a good grip in reality.

Its an external survival support mechanism.

Nice cold splash.

One tight slap.

A kick – If you’ve watched Inception you would know what this means.

That nice feeling of falling.

You need that, to bring you back to your accepted reality.

Your life is not comfy and perfect.

This is good

This way you know you’re alive and not dreaming.

Thank you for always being that kick, that tight slap, that cold splash. Does not make me love you, but I understand, you are only doing this to keep me alive. Sad, but very alive.

Now, let me show you out

Photo(s) of the (Wednes)day

2010-08-11T20:27:00.000+05:00

how pretty is my silk sari. I don't have any new photos, because I'm useless.

What is With Everyone?

2010-08-11T20:22:00.000+05:00

I know that the next year is still a few months away, but I think it is officially time for me to make a resolution. One which I have made and failed to keep up for a number of years now. Enough, though. It is time. There is a lot of change going on in my life right now, and all for the best. Never a better shot at attempting

"Try and stop being a big bitch to everyone you remotely care about." Because it really takes a lot for them to continue liking you for whoever you are. And you're getting worse by the year, making it harder by the year for them.

and also

"Try and stop getting so affected by the people around you and the stupid (in your opinion) things they do." Because they do not give a shit. You are the only one affected by it. For the worse. It does not help your blood pressure, your temper or your image.

Alright then, today shall be Day 1 of me with my new resolve. Let me see how this goes.

Super. Duper.

My new word "Pfeh" and where to use it.

2010-08-10T16:38:00.001+05:00

Hey man Johnny, why like a fool you say "Yes Papa, Yes Papa" to everything man?
Why don't you stop being a Papa's boy ha Johnny?
Live it up man.
Live it up and fight for your rights man.
You ate sugar, so what man, I ask you so what.
You ate sugar and you lied. SO WHAT man.
What is your dad's deal man.
Fuck, Johnny. I'm telling you man.
You are a fool. All that sugar, what can I say man.
You are a damned fool.

Pfeh.

downhill

2010-08-05T17:14:00.000+05:00

I had created a bunch of 'somewhat smiley' faces to use as my profile pic on gtalk. What started off as just making one happy looking face, went on to me making a proper series as the need arose. Then I started noticing the trend (not particularly a 'discovery' and you may say, so what? still, since I'm not posting about about anything else anyway). As the day wears on, the smileys always changed and almost always in the same order as below:

Morning.

Middle of the night.

I also made a pirate smiley for a friend. Here.

lyrics right from the heart

2010-08-03T13:36:00.000+05:00

Was listening to the radio this morning and I heard what is soon to be on repeat in my playlist (if only I could find the damned song online). Here are a few lines I remember.

Munni badnaam hui darling tere liye
Zandu balm hui darling tere liye

and it goes on, till the guy joins in to go

tum atom bomb hui darling mere liye.

I cannot wait. Of course I dutifully informed the one friend who loves these songs as much as I do.

sigh.

If I had a brand - Here's a possible tag

2010-07-30T18:37:00.000+05:00

how I love picasa 3 by google and good old paintbrush of course.

Sing it like you mean it

2010-07-30T15:24:00.000+05:00

Songs repeat often enough in my head, they become completely different.

For instance, once - the entire taxi ride from Nariman Point to Dadar I sang “Ain’t no mountain high enough” to myself.

[Well, when I say ‘myself’ I mean ‘myself and the taxi driver uncle’. I sometimes get into a sing-y mood and then I seldom realise when it’s stopped being humming-in-my-head to singing-so-everyone-can-hear. My singing is nothing to be proud of either. I should actually be referring to it as ‘singing’ within quotes, but well now that I have informed you, there is no real need for that.]

So I was singing ‘Ain’t no mountain’. The first five times it was sung pretty much -what sounded to me like- the right way. Nice and cheery. Love song. However, by the time I reached Dadar it was sung to the tune of a stalker wanting someone dead.

Remember the day

They set me free

I told you, you could count on seeing me

Darling

And from that day on, I made a vow

I’d make sure I got you

Someway. Somehow.

Heh.

Don't run.

Don't scream.

Oh baby cos,

There ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no valley low enough

There ain't no river wide enough

To keep me from getting to you

Babe.

You know it.

Of course, I had by this time also modified my voice to what I felt was more suitable for a killer on the loose. I was so into it that I missed my turning. The taxi guy muttered something about ‘gaane’ as I asked him to turn back. What a ride. That was also the day I got my pink elephant wallet and a red mat. Good day.

Every day I want to fly, stay by my tie.

Every day I go to fly, just guard my tie.

Every morning, I wake up and need to pee

Every morning,

Need to pee.

Can’t get this out of my head.

I'd hold you closer tiny dancer,

But

I may just squish you with my hand.

Don't come closer tiny dancer

Hey, where did you go

Squish*.

doodle - be mine (part of the 'jobless at work' series)

2010-07-30T14:05:00.006+05:00

you might want to click on it and make it bigger.

Absolutely none?

2010-07-30T09:57:00.001+05:00

There is a handle
There is a door

However, there is

where is your dinner?

2010-07-27T20:26:00.000+05:00

sing along now

I've got it right three times,
you've got it right the fourth
do we care to dance
show our glee, to gloat

that

we are right not some but always
we are right and we know well

we know when we are right
we claim high and shout it out

we are fucking right
get out of our lives now

Take care to take care to
take some time to think about
taking

take that, and that
take it, slap that and push it
shove
thats some taking.

then sing

we got that right, we got it all
we got what we wanted right now

we got you, you got me
she wont come, cos then you wont see

we got that great fucking high
we got style

wrap it up neatly now.

lesson #3

2010-07-27T20:19:00.002+05:00

There is a good reason people cannot hear you think. Use it wisely.

Would it work?

2010-07-27T00:01:00.004+05:00

courtesy - xkcd

   This is how I feel, without the science(y) touch
   I'd try it, though it sounds crazy
   to make all my nights with you last much
   much longer, if a bit dizzy

2010-07-26T23:01:00.003+05:00

I'm not a big fan

but if I were, I would consider being a Khaitan.

Hey, its change again.

2010-07-26T22:58:00.004+05:00

Plain to see. Change.
Hello bright and beautiful. Hello bright.

I can't say I'm entirely satisfied. I don't think I will be till I have more to say in what goes on behind. The background isn't really screaming my name out yet. It isn't going .. never mind. I won't say it.

I watched an incredible movie recently. It was called 'Priceless'. Well to be accurate, it was actually called 'Hors du Prix' - it was French and it was on World Movies and it made my night (quite a late night it was) and it made a lot more after that. It also made me cry. and laugh. Both, would you believe it. It had Audrey Tautou (of the Amelie and Coco before Chanel fame) (well maybe not just these two movies for the 'fame' factor, but these are the only two I've seen) and Gad Elmaleh (of what fame I don't know).

Do me a favour, watch the movie: if you find a dvd, buy me an extra.

I love it when a movie hits the spot. When it really makes me Feel something. Even better when that something is good warm and gooey.

touch that wood and don't let go

2010-07-26T19:58:00.005+05:00

I think its time for me to invest in some property on Cloud #9. and I don't mean the shady pub in Begumpet, Hyderabad. I've been having a bit of a blogger's block thing, so I'm going to let the Beatles say it for me tonight.

Baby's good to me you know,
She's happy as can be you know,
She said so
I'm in love with her and I feel fine

Baby says she's mine you know,
She tells me all the time you know,
She said so
I'm in love with her and I feel fine

I'm so glad that she's my little girl
She's so glad, she's telling all the world

That her baby buys her things you know.
He buys her diamond rings you know,
She said so
She's in love with me and I feel fine, mmm

Gopal Krishna Gokhale says

2010-07-21T10:20:00.002+05:00

aside: its a really nice statue.

PS2

2010-07-20T10:23:00.003+05:00

Alright, since a lot of people didn't get the joke. Please see here.

PS3

2010-07-19T10:20:00.000+05:00

I was once in a video game,

go on.

ask me about life after death

I want to be Sonam Kapoor

2010-07-08T22:20:00.003+05:00

without having to be Anil Kapoor's daughter.

a. I find her beautiful, she has such a nice body. such nice hair.

b. She is constantly on magazine covers (not some shady magazines either) and

most importantly,

c. she gets to wear the nicest clothes. THE NICEST. The nicest bags, shoes.

She is always dressed chic and sexy and fresh. She wears the best brands, her figure made like a mannequin. Everyone wants to dress her up in their name.

Man.

I should stop checking out highheelconfidential.com

2010-07-07T15:15:00.001+05:00

some women in Bombay make me feel like a potato. I don't always mind though

midnight whining

2010-07-02T23:12:00.003+05:00

Good lord. I am stuck at work. Again

I AM STUCK at work. AGAIN.

Almost every day of my life goes with me being STUCK at WORK. AGAIN

That last 'again' was a bit pointless seeing as the sentence started with 'almost every day'.

I gotta feeling.

woo.

hoo.

that

tonight's gonna be a long night.

that tonight's gonna be a long long night

feeling

blue

hoo

WHY

Photo(s) of the (Wednes)day

2010-06-30T11:44:00.003+05:00

Some photos from Victoria Memorial in Calcutta. and one of a gloomy score board.

Photo(s) of the (Wednes)day

2010-06-23T23:58:00.003+05:00

in honour of the messed up taxi strike from hell

'hello, I love you, will you be my wallpaper'

HEY

2010-06-16T21:59:00.002+05:00

you want change?

I'll give you change.

You first give me some curd rice and pickle.

2010-06-16T21:59:00.001+05:00

scooby doo movies should be banned. anyone attempting to make one should be slapped

lesson #2

2010-06-16T21:53:00.003+05:00

The world is full of class A jerks.

but don't forget that there are the classes B, C, D and on, too.

Note: These classes are formed because we title someone a class A jerk and then a bigger jerk, invariably, turns up. Then the previous one cannot be a non-jerk so (it) is then demoted to the next lower class.

sound of.

2010-06-16T21:44:00.001+05:00

your soul has strings and strings have sound

sound turns to music and

you have your song

my soul has strings and strings have sound

sound turns to music and

I have my song

your song and mine

when in tune

make our song

and its beautiful

its all pretty simple

so relax,

I've got this.

The (Needed?) Shot of Perspective

2010-06-16T19:08:00.005+05:00

Dear you,

Alright, I am completely freaking out. I must have sent a hundred messages to my friends, each with a screaming sentence of ‘help’, ‘I need to get out of here’, ‘I am losing my mind’ etc. So then I decide I need to take my daily double shot of ‘perspective’ in order to calm down enough to continue working and get through this miserable day.

Then I made the mistake of asking myself the following question – which I think I need to (someday) make a poll and put up in a website (not this one) (one which a number of people will read) and figure out what the popular opinion is.

Here is the poll anyway, in the event my mostly silent readers would like to contemplate in their free time. And do Contemplate, it is an important question and not to be answered lightly.

Question: Is it alright to get through each day on the assurance that ‘my life could be worse’:

Answer:

a. It’s alright you spoilt ****(add as many stars as you find necessary);

b. It’s not alright at all, Dingbat (used lovingly);

c. I don’t know, don't bother me. Go away.

Ok, I’ve taken today’s shot anyway. Need to get back to work. My life could be worse.

Love,

soontobevery Psychogirl

template

2010-06-16T10:41:00.004+05:00

Since Blogger has finally decided to allow for some fancy template possibilities (stuff that the basic internet user (me) can figure out easily and use), I will probably be playing around with my blog's look a lot.

Woo.

Bear with me, till I find that one special super.

Thank you

beans

2010-06-16T09:56:00.008+05:00

I was re-reading Jack and the Beanstalk, I found myself thinking

What a silly fellow. He sold his cow. For beans. Cos some old man told him they're magical. If I were his mother I'd have though he was a fool. I'd have been terribly upset as well. Poor woman, starving, last hope pinned on the cow being worth some money...

and that's when it hit me. When I was younger, I never once questioned Jack.

I thought his mother was a fool. How could that woman not see that magical beans were totally worth a cow. More than a stupid cow.

It never struck me that the beans might not have been magical. The old man said they were, so of course they were.

Boy. It is very useful to have the ability to believe in magical beans. To trust that there is such a thing. That for your cow, you can get yourself some of them beans. There would be some difficulty, but there is more hope in a happy future there than in selling the old cow, for some money, which would run out, soon.

I know I'd never trade a cow for magical beans. I hate that about myself.

What I'm trying to say is, there are some people, who can bring themselves to leave something steady and solid for a risky shot in true pursuit of happiness. They are able to believe in that shot, believe that it is the right thing to do. That magical things will happen to their lives if they let go of their planned and average existence, if they take that risk. They usually have a yelling mother waiting for them at home as well: in the form of their parents, good friends, spouse .. any person they're responsible for. They still take the leap. They buy the magic beans, plant it and hope for the best.

and here I am. Someone who can Only see the risk; the giant possibility of everything crashing and burning. Someone who can only see some castle in the air, waiting to fall through, sink. No giant, no magic and no happy ending.

Jack and the beanstalk is a super story. I should have learnt more from it while I still could.

Photo(s) of the (Wednes)day

2010-06-16T09:52:00.002+05:00

Fort - Mumbai

vampire loves; robot dreams

2010-06-10T13:22:00.002+05:00

These are the names of two graphic novels I just finished reading.

Vampire loves.

by Joann Sfar

Ferdinand, a skinny vampire, and his take on relationships. The various women he's kissed and the few he's loved. He bites his victims with one tooth, for his bite to pass as a mosquito bite. His cat looks different in one chapter though. It was mostly funny, quite a lot of random (a nice sort of random) and well drawn.

Robot dreams.

by Sara Varon

This graphic novel has no dialogue between the characters. Its about a dog and a robot who are close friends, till the robot gets rusted and the dog is forced to leave it behind. It then follows both of them in their separate lives. It was an incredibly touching story. Perfectly executed. Please do read.

Next in line - the Professor's Daughter. Have to buy it first. Maybe I'll become a member of Leaping Windows.

back to work now.

2.18

2010-06-10T01:47:00.002+05:00

when can I go home.

when there is so much left to do.

when

when should I stop

when do I get out

when

argh. it is 2.18 and a long night yet.

why is it never so long

when i'm happy

when i'm free

when

when i'm free to sleep

when can I sleep

when

wishing well

2010-06-10T01:38:00.002+05:00

super stressed

super tired

supremely pissed off

incredibly touchy

uncontrollable weeping

deep sorrow

worry

anguish

upset

screaming

sulky

sad

unhappy

Photo(s) of the (Wednes)day

2010-06-10T01:33:00.002+05:00

For Photo(s) of the (Mon)day - Sea link below

2010-06-07T16:28:00.003+05:00

admit it

2010-06-07T15:32:00.001+05:00