Cheesecake

This be an original plain cheesecake

This be a blueberry cheesecake

I think I'm going to cry..

black

first

horrible day. fuck everyone. fuck life. i wish i were home. i want to jump off this building. i want to slap her. what does he think. who the hell. why the fuck. aaarghhh

then

i hate my life. i hate myself. what am i doing here. what is all this worth. pathetic. lost

silence. it starts.

to let yourself down.

ah.

now theres something

mediocrity. mediocre. average

you look inside yourself and find nothing. nothing to show for the years thatve gone by.
you have no idea who you are. what you like.what you want.

if you want anything at all.

living for the sake of living?

Then you stop looking inside because you start seeing things that you really cant handle. not now. not for a while.

you see what actually goes on in your head. ideas thoughts words images that disgust you. everthing you hate about others right inside you. then you close your mind.

open your eyes. there is the real world. you tell yourself to stop sounding like a drama queen. and that nothing is ever that bad.

not you. not life.

pull yourself together. smile

till the next time you look inside..

top o the morning to ya

thought it was one of those mornings when you pop out of bed happy. "im gonna kick this days ass".you decide to get dressed nice. have a healthy breakfast and pay attention in class. come back to room after a heavy lunch . "siesta!". and then read some. eat some. have long walk with boy.

hah.

Man proposes.. pfft

Didnt exactly pop out of bed. but was happy. "smiley". the breakfast.. well it was horrible. but its ok we move on. managed to pay attention in three out of four classes. (pat on the back sweet)

then.

dun dun dun DUNN.

its not that bad really. managed to salvage bits of it. attempted a tolkien quiz without having read any of his books. got 3/36. even managed to have fun for a bit. thanks to some

now.

bored. tired. restless.



jump jump jump jump jump

splash

I have this sudden craving to create. paint draw sketch colour shade smudge cut glue. to take large sheets of thick white paper get something to eat drink some music an empty room. and create.

to imagine. let my mind run wild and come out with something thats pure brilliance.

s i g h.

If only I could drag my lazy ass to general bazaar and buy myself some supplies.

everythings turning gray otherwise.slowly but surely.. same people. same conversations. same clothes. same food. gray.

I want a sudden splash of colour in my life. something brand new. bright beautiful new

cough

ah yes... well..

apparently unless i publish a post.. or post a note.. or .. um.. make a post?.. ok something .. apparently unless i do that i cant see what my blog looks like.. so.. well

*post*