Alright, I lack the ability to wait for anything I know I want. Biding is not my thing. I cannot bide. Kick stupid biding in the ass. Biding is overrated.
I want now. I want everything I want, now. I know this about myself, and yet, sometimes (quite idiotically) I try and convince myself to not think of what I want or to think I don’t want something I do want.
Well (surprise!) I end up wanting it more. If I wasn’t sure before, my dumbass idea of persuading myself against it backfires repeatedly, to ensure that I think (no, I Know) that I Need whatever it was I only Wanted before.
So I don’t like biding. I don’t like abiding much either. But that’s a different story. Not to say I’m some cool reckless - live it up - girl. I do bide and abide, a lot. But only after some terrific moments of anger frustration almost not biding or abiding some arguments with myself and mental (who am I kidding) ok physical restraint(s).
Alright, so I am clearly an affected party of this allergy I have to biding. But there are those who are affected more. These are the people from whom I ‘expect’. Man.
I ‘expect’ a lot, from a few people. I ‘expect’ quite thoroughly and (I convince myself) quite reasonably. I understand my mind can’t be read. But I assume, given that I’m very vocal about what I want, the expectees would buck-up a bit. Clearly, these expectees almost always have better things to do in life than to ensure that I have whatever I want.
I get angry, throw tantrums and then finally settle for biding.
I hate stupid biding.
