On the true meaning of “the suspense is killing me”

I am not a patient person. I am physically and mentally incapable of waiting for anything. 

I cannot wait for a taxi for more than five minutes before I start losing my temper. Before I start tapping my foot till it hurts. Before I go "ARGH" in my head a couple of times. Before I go "ARGH" out loud a couple of times. 

I cannot wait for my food for more than half hour after I have ordered it. Not without grabbing at my stomach and exclaiming "I'm Hungry!" out loud every two seconds. Involuntarily, believe it or not. 

I cannot give a print out of 100 pages and wait for the printer to finish choking on every other page before spitting out my entire copy in more or less one piece. I cannot do that without attempting to hurt it physically, almost expecting it to go "ouch". Then stroking it where I hit it, by way of an "Oh all right I'm sorry. Now come on". 

When I turn a laptop or computer on, I cannot sit still and wait for it to wake up in ease. I must click. Type. Tap the screen. Jam the damn thing till I'm forced to shut it down against its will and try the whole process over again. 

I cannot wait two seconds for my tube light to flicker on - I need to turn it on and off three times in the hope that that somehow helps it make its decision to give me light. 

The word "Loading" makes me clench my fist. The words "Loading, please wait" make me clench tighter.

Because, I cannot wait. 

I want everything now. If I know about something, it needs to happen immediately. I am spoilt rotten you think? Well, maybe so. But I am incapable of waiting. 

The suspense depresses me, plays with my head, sinks me down in deep sorrow and frustration and then finishes me off for good. Killer suspense. 

Well, will let you know soon enough what has been causing me so much trouble that I was pushed to write this post - why I've been away this long and what next. I have a problem with suspense - I don't suppose you do. So wait.