stand

so I leave home tomorrow, to go find myself a house
in this big exciting? new city, to start work
to be responsible, to grow up, to wake up
and smell the stinky air.

to yawn loudly and upset the neighbours, if I find a house
to cook and not burn many south indian delicacies
to take late night cab rides
to use a quilt in 38degrees
to buy new green sunglasses, made of actual glass
to celebrate my 23rd birthday
to stalk shahrukhkhan or just eat bhel

I'm not too sure what to expect, so

Ancient Chinese Proverb #2

Expect little, get little - smile a sad knowing smile
Expect lots, get little - feel like a damned fool

what?

Jigsaw.

Some people claim that they were born mothers, wives, girlfriends, their life is a map and then there are others who are none of the above. They were born messed in the head and lost from the start. It is probably easier to cope with life as it has made itself out to be in this day and age if you belong to the latter category than the former. There is no scope for order, and there is lesser scope for expectation. The former are invariably filled with expectations, the chances of their lives ending in disappointment and an overflowing sadness is higher. Much higher.



Fall into the world, long for nothing.

(ancient chinese proverb)



I belong to the former category. I belong with order, plans and purpose. They seem to avoid me.

My life is not chaotic, no that would be too strong. My life is just taking its own damn course, and leaving me out.



I have plenty of ideas for cards and gifts and rooms and museums and gardens and posters and cds and love. They fit in my plan, my plan doesn't fit thats all. Call me - ill lend them to you.



Goodnight.