when I'm looking at you, you're so beautiful
I feel like my entire being is being crushed like a piece of paper heading for the bin.

your face

Do you know what a good retort is to

let's see

EVERYTHING.


Your face.


Disbeliever, ok here lets try it:


Mr. Bimbi:  This photo looks like it was taken by an amateur.
Coolio: YOUR FACE looks like it was taken by an amateur.

---

Mr. Bimbi: Those jeans are not working for you.
Coolio: Your face is not working for you.

---

More coming soon.
 

did you know

spending the whole weekend reading books
makes you feel less like a worthless piece of poop

I'd forgotten

Youve got a friend like me.

I wrote a 4 page long letter to a friend.
Then I added a handmade sticker and a small VGR Love Coupon (TM).
I also drew some stuff on it.

What are you, 12?

Ey, shut it. I am in no mood for you today.
Where was I, right, I wrote a FOUR page long letter. All handwritten and everything.

Would've never guess when you said 'wrote' two times.

*Ignore*

Man, I can be such a good friend sometimes. I write letters, I get little gifts, I drop work and chat for hours about miscellaneous problems, I'm loyal also.

Wah.

No really, I've stopped talking to / bitched out / thrown horrible looks at / tripped (ok no) people that have bugged my friends. Ironically those 'friends' continue to be palzforevah with the said baddies. Geez.

Chaddi Baddies.

No, baddies. Like bad people.

Mamy Poko Pants

What?
 

hey, you next to me

Does the volume level of music from my earphones amaze you?
Do you think I may well be deaf or heading there?

I want to go dancing.
I didn't say with you.

Would you date someone called Carly?
What if she was really pretty?
What if she made really good sambar?

Eh.

bleargh manifesto

It's another one of those.  You know, those days where everything that's ever bugged you EVER pops up in slow yet sure succession and kills your normalhood.

Glasses fall and break again.

Maid announces proposed absence for next 5 days, today.

Ants have eaten the best of my almonds and most of my dates.

Skin break out alert.

Nice shirt does not fit anymore.

'That annoying girl''s face is all over facebook. What the heckhole is up with that? (Separately, how is it some people have faces which activate PUNCH ME impulses for no apparent (except their face) reason?)

Work, there is Work again, how the..and so much irritating bull crap work where the only answer my brain comes up with after much consideration is I DO NOT GIVE A

Tomorrow is not a holiday.

Life questioning questions alert.  Eh man, why today? Go. When I'm lazing around watching Packed to the Rafters, appear again then.

Gossip Girl ended on TV with the most crapshit ending ever - which I already knew - but today had to be the last day. I don't know if I feel relief in that I dont have to watch that bloof ever again or what.

ARGH. WHAT A USELESS FEELING FEELING.

I want to go home and embroider a onesie and finish my Welcome Back flyer and continue my Dangerous Dacoit comic series.

I want to go home.

Love these songs, love the videos

Passion Pit  -  Carried Away

 

Of Monsters and Men - Little Talks

 

 

 

I'm spinning around, move out of my way, I know youre feeling me cos you like it like this

What was Kylie Minogue on?

Yesterday, on an auto ride back from Orion Mall (tell the auto guy Ohriyown Maal) which was a long ish ride and I was feeling happy because I'd bought a tiny JBL bluetooth speaker and some Zara clothes (after a long time) and (yes shit like that makes me happy) I had this long and fairly involved day dream session.

So, I look out of the auto and I see this plump curly haired dark fellow on one of those cycle cart things transporting a load of rubbish (literally) and I thought, you know like that Freaky Friday movie, what if I just become him and he becomes me? How would I go about life?

Ok, let me explain - I look into his eyes and ZAP he is me and I am him THE END.  Then I thought, no thats a really depressing one but lets think of something better - what if I become Prince William (the ugles) and he becomes me.  Then I caught a glimpse of siddawk on the auto mirror - now  How could I be with him if I was Prince William? Also, what about that Kate and my baby? I couldnt pretend to be attracted to her and what not, I mean, I am still me inside him.

What about my parents also. My family.

So I thought, ok I'll fly down to Bangalore and convince siddawk that it was me trapped is ugles' body. Use some intimatemomentsonlyweknowyo stuff. Then I'd go to Chennai and convince my parents its me - but how do I avoid all the paparazzi? I'll figure. I'll speak to them in Tamil and stuff. Then I'll convince my whole family to move into the palace with me till we figure this out.

Also, what about the real me with Prince William inside? I have to track her down and bring her in as well. But it is likely that she'd be out trying to find a way back into the palace. So I'd tell the guards to let me meet all girls claiming to be me or some such.

I'll also issue some sort of WANTED notice with my face on it.

Would the Queen agree to my family moving in? What about Kate? Well, it is my house / palace as well right. I should be allowed to let whoever I want stay in it.  My family trumps the Beckhams any day.

We  could screen the Royal Divorce on the Royal Channel or whatever crapsmuck.

I was quite troubled by this whole thought though. How to live like that? What a disaster that would be.

Made me feel happier about my life but.

Summer vacation

Makemytrip is asking me why I still havent planned my summer vacation.
What summer vacation man.

----

There's someone out there called Sweeteebye Balloo. I kid you not.

----

A friend gifted me a book made of elephant poo. I smelt it as soon as I found out what it was. Not so surprisingly, it just smelt handmade papery.  I wouldn't have touched a human poo paper book. What makes elephants and cows so special.  The same friend also likes the smell of cow. A lot of people do. I dont think I have an opinion on this.

----

I'll get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans
be your teenage dream
tonight.

- Katy Perry

----

Ok, I have to go back to work
 

No world is good enough

No, its not a new Bond movie. Although..

No

No this was just a line of thought really.  Sometimes I think about having a kid in the world in its current stage and I feel super selfish.  Shit has hit the fan and all, and I want to bring a child into all this? HOW EVIL OF ME. I mean, there may be no water or trees or anything left in 50 years, what will this baby do?

Get to the point.  And to answer your question, it wont be a baby then, itd be a fifty year old somebody and if theres no water or trees, it'd be happily un-alive.

Hey.

Get to the point

Ok.  Well, I felt a little better seeing this Mad Men episode yesterday where this guy was being asked whether he wants children.  He goes, ya well who doesn't etc. Then says, ya but sometimes I think of the world today, the bomb, contracting economy etc., and I wonder.

I went AHA.  This guy, 50 years ago, was wondering the same thing as me!

Its a fictional character. What he said was written by someone TODAY.

Whatevs yo.  The point is, probably, that no world has ever been good enough for anyones baby.  So what I'm feeling can be suitably ignored.  I mean, even Superman's parents didnt think their world was good enough for their baby and sent him here (good one that).

Their world was blowing up..

Maybe that was figurative. ''Oh no, our world is no good, it's all blowing up.'' What they meant was kids were having sex at the age of 12 and they were running out of garbage disposal ideas.

Geez

 

How do I feel today?

Facebook asks me, on a daily basis.  How do you feel today, Veena?

Let me tell you how I feel today.  I feel like the world I knew has come to an end and that this happened a number of years ago, and I have been living in denial.

It isn't a happy situation like the Matrix where a red pill makes you see the truth and a blue pill puts you back in the Matrix. 

I am being forced to wake up and see what has already gone by.  You can talk to me about hope, but not today.  People are shoving candles up a 5 year old girl's vagina, so do not talk to me about that today.  People are murdering people for money, for a car, for refusing to serve them alcohol, for asking for toll money.  People are telling me Bangalore needs to be evacuated by 2023 because all water sources will be so contaminated.  You can fill 'bombing folks' as a favourite pastime.

They found an oil bottle in that child.

We are running out of sanity, air, water, time, but we are not running out of patience.  Patience is easy.  Oh, I am not sitting on my ass doing nothing, I am simply being patient.  Waiting for some hero.

Will I do something? No. I am not that person who gets up and does anything. Even if I were, I wouldnt know what to do or where to start.


Hopeless.

Can I have the blue pill?

Most people are Truman

Well, you've see The Truman Show I assume.
I think, most people are Truman. They are the central characters of their respective life stories.  Everything that happens, happens to them and they are in the center shining burning raging.

Sometimes, I feel like a background figure in my own life.  That I am Truman's gardener or car repairman or girl who sits behind him in an office cubicle or popcorn seller.

Forget Truman, I feel like I'm someone who is paid in Biriyani to sit in a bus looking busy while the Hero sidles up to the Heroine.

I must be Truman.  I have to be Truman. 
Need help.
 

TODAY IS A BAD DAY

If I could paint love, I would
If I could paint sorrow, I would refrain.

- ancient Canadian saying

what? there are ancient Canadians, and they do say. The Chinese don't own this shit yo.

If I could paint well, I would
If I couldn't paint very well, I still would

---

I feel I have been so untrue to myself about myself I don't know anything about anything, including myself. 

So if I honestly know nothing, can I start afresh? Be anybody?
If yes, would I choose to be a kind, patient and softspoken person? No.
What is required is introspection (good word).  Self-introspection (that's understood). 

Just, boil myself down until something resembling what I might actually be emerges.  Then try not to be fake ever again.

Simple yo.

---

There was this girl on a call yesterday - well, the guy sitting behind me was on a call with this girl yesterday - and boss, what a voice.  Never have I hated someone, truly in an I-would-shoot-you-in-the-face-good-youre-on-the-phone-and-i-dont-have-a-gun-in-any-event way, but this girl.

BP rising.

---

I shall go get drunk
I shall go get drunk
I shall go get drunk
to nigh t t
I hope I don't black out
I hope I don't f*** up
but I shall go get drunk
to night.

(sing it in a 'we shall overcome' tune).

 [as I was typing this, someone called to cancel. wtf]

---

Today is a bad day,
I wish you could have a bad day with me,
and then we could go out,
have some drinkses and watch a movie,
and curse this f.all day,
together

 

Material girl or what

How to get rid of expensive taste?  No.  No.  I'm afraid this may be a real issue. 
Maybe I should stop reading fashion / lifestyle / interior design magazines.  It may just help.

Maybe if I stop earning any money, that would help.

Maybe since I do earn money, I don't need all that much help.

How life loves circles.

Wait, I was thinking that thought this weekend, for something.

Well, if life really loves circles, it will come back to you.

Maybe my conscience is Justin Timberlake.

Maybe

 

finders

I was checking out sample matrimonial ads.  I don't know why, don't ask irrelevant questions.

Here's one

Prof Qualified match for Saruparin Brahmin 31/160 Phd Chem Lecturer Eng College-Lko, B'ful girl. Status family. Early Decent marriage.Send BHP.Email xxxxxx@rediffmail.com or write Box no LUC 000000c Times of India, Lucknow-2

 

B'ful girl.

Status family.

Early Decent marriage.

 

What is BHP.

 

 

 

Prof. Qualified Nicelkng Girl, age/ht/wt of no conseq. Early decent marriage. Needs fun frnds in city. Not spcl. frnds. No frandshps. Likeminded indiv to hng out with and drnk old mnk. Send BHP. mail xxxxxx@gmail.com or write Box no LUC 000000c Times of India, Bangalore-1

 

 

ok dont send BHP.

can I level with you?

I sign off more than 30 emails a day with Best Regards.
I don't mean it for most.

--

I have the GK of a pencil box.

--

I have conversations with people and then blog my great lines.

some compliments

you are as cute as a pair of 50rs baby socks.

your hair is so soft and shiny, I want to make a quilt out of it. I would never get out of bed.

I had an amazing dosa yesterday, filled with mysore masala goodness. Made me feel warm inside. I thought of you.

your forehead smells like an omlette sometimes. Its comforting

don't bother reading yo

I am a big red stress balloon
ready to pop

----------

Did I mention how I'd like to design kitchens.  I may have.  It's not just kitchens actually, that's my idea of starting low.  I'd like to design entire houses.  Apply thought, draw out various diagrams and ideas for furniture and placement and lighting and special misc. add ons. 

Well, I have about three coloured notebooks full of ideas.  I could make more, so much more.  Even if you don't pay me.

---------

I dreamt that I was a Disney background character.  Didn't have much of a life.  Had to stand around looking happy or unhappy for the princess.  Not much of a story really.  I got shoved to one side as some sort of villain made his way to her.

He was all in black with a pointy beard.  I assumed.  Oh come on, he just looked like a.  Fine, whatever.  Why did he shove me if he's such a nice guy.

---------

Things are simply not getting done.  It is bothering me very much sir.  Day and night I am like, what is this thing not getting done only.

------

Ok, I'm off to go work on a future shoe rack.





 

I do not have an Iphone (1,2..5)

Man, I met someone the other day who went on about how the Iphone 5 is some bull shit and they would never be caught dead using one and how its against their core morality or some such.

I wish I had a lot of money, like throw away money type lots of money, like buy a house next door to work to use the loo sort of money (nothing wrong with my office loo), like (ok sometimes it isnt the best loo, but I blame the users and not the loo itself or the maintenance staff) buy a roller coaster sort of money, like travel to paris to shop sort of money.

Then I'd buy an Iphone 5 and leave it at this person's door step. Then I'd videotape this person finding it and kissing it.

Maybe I'd pay someone to take the video while I go for a fish spa.

Who am I kidding. I could never put my feet in a pool of hungry fish.
 

GWTF

you know what always sounded super appealing to me?

pink elephants

pink elephants? what?

ey, that was a rhetorical question. Although, pink elephants..hm

The GWTF Rule.

Oh yeah.

Gorrillaz Were Too Funky?
Ghosts Wish They Farted?
Girls just Want To..

Stop.

It stands for Go With The Flow - keep up.

I wish I could just GWTF through life. If you know me, you'd know how lazy I am. You'd then assume it should be super easy for me to GWTF. Wait, but if you knew me you'd also know what a control freak I am.

So.

Anyway, whether you know me or not - I find it incredibly difficult to just GWTF. However, after much effort and what not, I often end up being forced to GWTF and stuff works out fine.

Super even.

I want to be all chilled out and saying "yeah sure why not bro" to everything and everyone. I mean, with some exercise of judgment.

Shady Man: Do you want to get into this van with me?
Me: yeah sure why not bro

never heard from again.

Do you want to get into a van with me?

Hello, who is this?