Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Consider this

I know a whole bunch of single people. People who are not in a relationship. Some who have just gotten out of one, some who have never been in one, some who are in something but which is not a relationship and some who I don't know but are single - so I suppose these people don't fall in the "I know a whole bunch of single people" category - but in the "I know Of a whole bunch of single people as well" category. I've heard their stories.

I am not a single person. I haven't been a single person, since, forever. So, there it is - their grass and my grass and the question on quality of / intensity of greenness arises.

My side:

I have been dating the boy who is now my fiancĂ© for six years - completed tomorrow. It's been a crazy six years and we finally achieved what we feel to be an equilibrium state in our relationship where things are going good. Then we decided to get married because it made sense. We had been together very long, we didn't want to not be together ever - ta da. Of course, then comes the (awaited) panic strike. "Boy, I will not be with another person, (again)". Now the 'again' is in brackets because I have never really been with anyone else to start off with. So, this automatically makes me the center of the usual question: Wow, are you sure about this, you will never date another person? No more for you. You are an aun.. I'll stop there.

Well. I'm an easy person to freak - and this type of blah de dufus does get me thinking. Oh boy.

Their side:

The entire world has opened up / has been open for a while, for them. It works fine for those who aren't looking for a relationship - they just cruise along, have their fun, free of responsibility, of serious thoughts on where to be, how to grow up elegantly and how to not kick and scream as the last light of childhood blinks a couple of times and disappears. (Ok looks like we're still on my side).

However, it's impossible to not think of where your life is going. Who will you meet. Will you meet that one person who makes you go "HELLO THERE" followed by some preferred music and a couple of dance moves by your heart. Will you will you will you. It would be fine if only 'will you' was the question - the more crash and burn question is 'what if you don't'.

India isn't quite your wonderland for single people, it seems to be extremely difficult to get anything going. Again, this is only based on what I've heard my friends tell me. Well, to meet someone you need a place - a situation - a comfort zone where anybody there is looking for something similar. Usually, you would suggest a pub. A nice drinking place. But the general mindset doesn't allow a comfort zone creation even in a pub. The probability of rejection is overwhelming.

Ok forget pubs, meet friends through friends through friends. That does work. But then, you need to carry along all your life's worth of luck with you.

Workspace - mostly, a bad idea.

College - the easiest place to find someone. They are forced to see you day after day. It is never one of those - oh I'll never see this person again let me get all nervous act like a fool and lose the chance forever. You can take your time, make your move. Especially in a university like mine - which was situated in a village and you spent five years with the same people - it works. However, if you have the luck of being stuck in a college where absolutely noone is compatible - pfeh.

All in all - its one giant (and seemingly frustrating) effort.

GREENNESS:

Ok so the proverb goes " the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side ". I don't know about that. I know some people who would love to be on my side - yet most of them are also glad they aren't here yet.

I'm happy being on my side. I don't care much for grass anyway. I'm more a sand and beach sort of person. and my view is looking good.