I want

* to get decked up and go party
* to eat good mexican food
* some damn cousin of mine to get married
* a trip to goa
* to see new tamil movies as soon as they release and not on cd some years later
* my projects to get done on their own (or someone else to do them for me *hint)

and so on..

growing up

growing up is to start thinking.

no. not to just start thinking. it is to start thinking too much.
overtime.
excessive.

it is also to forget.

people say its a gradual thing, growing up
it isnt.

it always creeps up on me suddenly.
Suddenly. my friends aren't my type anymore. the guy i like is a juvenile prick. the one who knew everything knows not so much. isnt oh so right.

there are others. better others. replacing the once weres. why? because i started thinking too much. i grow up and leave people behind. abruptly. forgetting why they ever meant anything to me.

leaving in me no hint of regret. remorse. sometimes only relief that they passed by so easily.

growing up is to leave behind.
so when you like the way things are at present. you are afraid of growing up. afraid of turning cold and leaving behind what matters so much to you now.

even worse. afraid that people around you will grow up and leave you behind.