In our search for soul mates, search for the perfects
I am searching for that one girl
You are searching for the right song
We search for that right street, with the crisp cold zing air
The right country, the perfect home
That elusive job, which doesn't tire us, or destroy our dreams
Maybe we don't search, we just yearn
Helpless or lazy, sitting here yearning
Almost tasting our happiness
Moved to tears by the perfects we see
Just out of our reach
Thursday, November 03, 2011
Thursday, October 06, 2011
Today
I'm in a good mood
make the most of it
ask me for a free meal
ask me for a movie ticket
don't tell me I don't look good
don't tell me I don't sound right
don't go spoiling my good mood
I'll get damn pissed, and we'd fight
the fight would not end well,
you can count on it.
I'll make you pay for the meal
and the movie ticket.
make the most of it
ask me for a free meal
ask me for a movie ticket
don't tell me I don't look good
don't tell me I don't sound right
don't go spoiling my good mood
I'll get damn pissed, and we'd fight
the fight would not end well,
you can count on it.
I'll make you pay for the meal
and the movie ticket.
HOOBASTANK
Life Update
I have been sick for one and half weeks. Make that almost two weeks. I finally feel better today.
My one and half, no, two week sickness - my two week sickness made me super grumpy and on the whole upset about life. Nothing new there. But, it has also made me QUEEN OF ASSASSIN'S CREED.
cough*
We bought an Xbox. with Kinect.
----
I just discovered that Shift+x doesn't work in my laptop. What..why. I don't imagine it's an often used combination on my keyboard. TIME FOR A NEW.. ok no. I'll get it fixed. Ok, someone will get it fixed.
cough*
----
On other breaking news, DumbF'ingPigeons (TM) entered my house on a covert mission - through an unimaginably small opening in the window - and shat all over the place. But, Thank You DumbF'ingPigeons (TM) for not shitting on my TV, or my xbox, or my futon or anything fancy. Thank you.
But, if you ever come back, I'll Kill Ya...Kill ya... kill ya (if you have not watched The Lion King, shoot yourself)
----
I ate some suspicious tasting peanut chikki thing. Apparently one bad peanut can spoil the whole lot. How unfortunate. I also ate some jackfruit chips - I'm not a big fan though. But one bad jackfruit cannot spoil the whole lot. Well, except the lot made from that jackfruit. I like jackfruit ice cream though.
Why has my cook not come today. Why.
----
I was watching the National Geographic channel (only because it is one of the seven HD channels we get - which includes STAR GOLD) and they were showing a piece on IKEA. That's when I realised. I want to work in IKEA. I'm not saying it's my dream job, but lets just say - that would have been a great idea. I could have designed furniture. Furniture bought the world over (barring some). I could've sat there and discussed furniture ideas with other furniture designers in a good climate location in Europe or some place. The work place would have been fancy and comforting and I don't suppose there are ever any FURNITURE DESIGNING EMERGENCIES which require me to work overnight.
I'm just saying, it looked like a happy place.
----
I have never used a sleeping bag in my life. I wouldn't know if they are comfortable or not. I have slept on mattresses laid out on the floor. Is it the same thing?
----
I'm turning 25 soon.
I have been sick for one and half weeks. Make that almost two weeks. I finally feel better today.
My one and half, no, two week sickness - my two week sickness made me super grumpy and on the whole upset about life. Nothing new there. But, it has also made me QUEEN OF ASSASSIN'S CREED.
cough*
We bought an Xbox. with Kinect.
----
I just discovered that Shift+x doesn't work in my laptop. What..why. I don't imagine it's an often used combination on my keyboard. TIME FOR A NEW.. ok no. I'll get it fixed. Ok, someone will get it fixed.
cough*
----
On other breaking news, DumbF'ingPigeons (TM) entered my house on a covert mission - through an unimaginably small opening in the window - and shat all over the place. But, Thank You DumbF'ingPigeons (TM) for not shitting on my TV, or my xbox, or my futon or anything fancy. Thank you.
But, if you ever come back, I'll Kill Ya...Kill ya... kill ya (if you have not watched The Lion King, shoot yourself)
----
I ate some suspicious tasting peanut chikki thing. Apparently one bad peanut can spoil the whole lot. How unfortunate. I also ate some jackfruit chips - I'm not a big fan though. But one bad jackfruit cannot spoil the whole lot. Well, except the lot made from that jackfruit. I like jackfruit ice cream though.
Why has my cook not come today. Why.
----
I was watching the National Geographic channel (only because it is one of the seven HD channels we get - which includes STAR GOLD) and they were showing a piece on IKEA. That's when I realised. I want to work in IKEA. I'm not saying it's my dream job, but lets just say - that would have been a great idea. I could have designed furniture. Furniture bought the world over (barring some). I could've sat there and discussed furniture ideas with other furniture designers in a good climate location in Europe or some place. The work place would have been fancy and comforting and I don't suppose there are ever any FURNITURE DESIGNING EMERGENCIES which require me to work overnight.
I'm just saying, it looked like a happy place.
----
I have never used a sleeping bag in my life. I wouldn't know if they are comfortable or not. I have slept on mattresses laid out on the floor. Is it the same thing?
----
I'm turning 25 soon.
Holiday Jollyday
Today is a holiday
oh I could just sing
but the neighbours may not like that
then again, I put up with their shit
Today is a holiday
oh I could just dance, and shout and be me r r y
what a feeling
a holiday
in the middle of the week
The whole day lies in front of me
I can just eat shop and watch TV
and now I have tata sky HD
which makes me all the more happy
to be here
at home
alone
on a wonderful HOLIDAY
ok I miss you come back
oh I could just sing
but the neighbours may not like that
then again, I put up with their shit
Today is a holiday
oh I could just dance, and shout and be me r r y
what a feeling
a holiday
in the middle of the week
The whole day lies in front of me
I can just eat shop and watch TV
and now I have tata sky HD
which makes me all the more happy
to be here
at home
alone
on a wonderful HOLIDAY
ok I miss you come back
Dignified what.
I wish I had the ability to maintain a dignified silence.
I don't have that ability and I can't fake it.
I would come across so much cooler (or so it seems) in any adverse situation, if I knew how to just stop talking post a point.
Example:
Irritating Person: You are an asshole.
Cool Me: ----
Irritating Person: EY MAN, I SAID YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE
Cool Me: Blink, -----
Irritating Person: HEY WHAT. useless.
Cool Me: Smirk.
But No.
I'm a screamer. I get angry, worked up and before I can get to framing a complete sentence in my head composing what my feelings are any given moment, its gone out of my mouth.
So it goes
Irritating Person: You are an asshole.
Me: YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE AND SO IS YOUR DOG
Irritating Person: (looks wounded) Timmy is not bad ok.
Me: WHATEVER I DON'T CARE. NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.
stomp
stomp
stomp
Sometimes, it is Not a bad thing. In fact, I wouldn't say that my behaviour in this respect has ever gotten me into any significant trouble.
But it just seems so much more stress-free to just be calm and maintain a dignified silence.
Never.
I don't have that ability and I can't fake it.
I would come across so much cooler (or so it seems) in any adverse situation, if I knew how to just stop talking post a point.
Example:
Irritating Person: You are an asshole.
Cool Me: ----
Irritating Person: EY MAN, I SAID YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE
Cool Me: Blink, -----
Irritating Person: HEY WHAT. useless.
Cool Me: Smirk.
But No.
I'm a screamer. I get angry, worked up and before I can get to framing a complete sentence in my head composing what my feelings are any given moment, its gone out of my mouth.
So it goes
Irritating Person: You are an asshole.
Me: YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE AND SO IS YOUR DOG
Irritating Person: (looks wounded) Timmy is not bad ok.
Me: WHATEVER I DON'T CARE. NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.
stomp
stomp
stomp
Sometimes, it is Not a bad thing. In fact, I wouldn't say that my behaviour in this respect has ever gotten me into any significant trouble.
But it just seems so much more stress-free to just be calm and maintain a dignified silence.
Never.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The strangest thing
This morning, I woke up at 8 AM,and then again at 8.05, at 8.10 and 8.15..well you get it, it was a marathon snooze with a 5 minute alarm break.I finally got out of bed at 9 AM.
Well, in terms of some background to the rest of this story, my firm has come up with this new rule where everyone needs to be in by 11AM sharp - so sharp it cuts you (cough), what I mean is, you come in at 11.01 and half day gets taken as leave. Ouch. I know it's pretty reasonable to expect associates you pay a lot of money to, to be in by 11. It's just that, none of us are used to it after years of crawling in by 11.30. Did I mention it's a new rule.
Second point to note in terms of background info - I got married this year. So, I'm already 15days up and over my leave entitlement AND I need to apply for leave for Diwali (cough). Yes, it may seem as a bit much - but that apart, you now understand how important it is for me to preserve these little half day cuts. A seemingly simple way to do that - come on time.
Third point to note - you know, background - I have been in one mega bad mood funk. I don't know what the deal is, not for the life of me. All is good in life and yet the smallest things make me want to Scream my head off. Just scream. I haven't done it yet - how. Where does a respectable person go to just scream her lungs out without attracting unnecessary attention.
So, I wake up at 9AM. If I leave home by 9.30AM, no problem. Can be at work by 10.30. well in time. But no. I decide that knowing what happened in the last elimination round on Masterchef Australia is far more important. I reason that even if I leave by 10, I should reach easily by 10.45.
So I watch master chef, see that Shannon is safe in the competition, eat my omelette and leave by 10. I get a cab with this elderly Muslim gentleman and ask him to whisk me away to Nariman point. But, sir, please could you take the Kalachowki route and then chaar rastha. KABOOM.
Mistake no.1. The route is completely jammed.
Mistake no.2. I don't have money to pay the cab driver, which means stopping at the ATM near office, which means 15 minutes more than otherwise.
So, by now my screaming problem has kicked in. I am red in the face from an effort to keep calm. And my poor old driver is having a lot of trouble hearing me. Which isn't helping my situation but God forbid I scream at him, I'd never forgive myself.
I take a few deep breaths, and wait. It's now 10.45 and it will take me 5 minutes at least to reach office. I have Rs. 110. Not enough to cover the cab. I then check my change, another 12 rupees. Still probably not enough to cover the cab. No escaping the ATM visit.
We reach my office building, there is a massive traffic jam between there and the ATM place. I decide to ask my cabbie how much the meter says. He says, just give me what you feel like.
I thought he didn't understand my question. So I ask him again. He says, well you travel here everyday, just give me whatever you usually pay to get here.
I told him his meter reading may be for more, so to just let me know how much. He refused. So I oaid him the 122 rupees as it usually takes me about 120 bucks to get there. He says thank you, and god bless you and drives away.
I get out, get to office by 10.55.
I don't understand what happened.
He isn't from my area and doesn't know I come here everyday.
He did not know that I didn't have money.
He refused to check the meter for God knows what reason - despite me telling him itbmay be showing more than what I generally pay.
If he hadn't done that, I would definitely have been late.
I don't get it, it was the strangest feeling stepping out of that cab. Like someone was asking me to just relax and take it easy, and things would work themselves out
Alright then
Well, in terms of some background to the rest of this story, my firm has come up with this new rule where everyone needs to be in by 11AM sharp - so sharp it cuts you (cough), what I mean is, you come in at 11.01 and half day gets taken as leave. Ouch. I know it's pretty reasonable to expect associates you pay a lot of money to, to be in by 11. It's just that, none of us are used to it after years of crawling in by 11.30. Did I mention it's a new rule.
Second point to note in terms of background info - I got married this year. So, I'm already 15days up and over my leave entitlement AND I need to apply for leave for Diwali (cough). Yes, it may seem as a bit much - but that apart, you now understand how important it is for me to preserve these little half day cuts. A seemingly simple way to do that - come on time.
Third point to note - you know, background - I have been in one mega bad mood funk. I don't know what the deal is, not for the life of me. All is good in life and yet the smallest things make me want to Scream my head off. Just scream. I haven't done it yet - how. Where does a respectable person go to just scream her lungs out without attracting unnecessary attention.
So, I wake up at 9AM. If I leave home by 9.30AM, no problem. Can be at work by 10.30. well in time. But no. I decide that knowing what happened in the last elimination round on Masterchef Australia is far more important. I reason that even if I leave by 10, I should reach easily by 10.45.
So I watch master chef, see that Shannon is safe in the competition, eat my omelette and leave by 10. I get a cab with this elderly Muslim gentleman and ask him to whisk me away to Nariman point. But, sir, please could you take the Kalachowki route and then chaar rastha. KABOOM.
Mistake no.1. The route is completely jammed.
Mistake no.2. I don't have money to pay the cab driver, which means stopping at the ATM near office, which means 15 minutes more than otherwise.
So, by now my screaming problem has kicked in. I am red in the face from an effort to keep calm. And my poor old driver is having a lot of trouble hearing me. Which isn't helping my situation but God forbid I scream at him, I'd never forgive myself.
I take a few deep breaths, and wait. It's now 10.45 and it will take me 5 minutes at least to reach office. I have Rs. 110. Not enough to cover the cab. I then check my change, another 12 rupees. Still probably not enough to cover the cab. No escaping the ATM visit.
We reach my office building, there is a massive traffic jam between there and the ATM place. I decide to ask my cabbie how much the meter says. He says, just give me what you feel like.
I thought he didn't understand my question. So I ask him again. He says, well you travel here everyday, just give me whatever you usually pay to get here.
I told him his meter reading may be for more, so to just let me know how much. He refused. So I oaid him the 122 rupees as it usually takes me about 120 bucks to get there. He says thank you, and god bless you and drives away.
I get out, get to office by 10.55.
I don't understand what happened.
He isn't from my area and doesn't know I come here everyday.
He did not know that I didn't have money.
He refused to check the meter for God knows what reason - despite me telling him itbmay be showing more than what I generally pay.
If he hadn't done that, I would definitely have been late.
I don't get it, it was the strangest feeling stepping out of that cab. Like someone was asking me to just relax and take it easy, and things would work themselves out
Alright then
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Unlike bread
Somethings grow stale but they never grow old
They just linger on, visit again, set off reminders in your head of a different time
They annoy you, shame you, make you shudder thinking of how they may have affected your life
But they just don't go away
Some people, some clothes, some songs and some words
Grow so stale, yet they all have their effect on you - never grow old
They just linger on, visit again, set off reminders in your head of a different time
They annoy you, shame you, make you shudder thinking of how they may have affected your life
But they just don't go away
Some people, some clothes, some songs and some words
Grow so stale, yet they all have their effect on you - never grow old
Saturday, June 18, 2011
...
Hello Mr. Large Nose
How did you become an actor
My dad is a politician
and money was a factor
Hello Mr. Stupid Face
Why did you buy that red car
My girlfriend said she would leave me
for the guy who runs the 'Bull Frog' bar
Hello Mr. Think twice
Where did you go last night
I wanted to dance to hip hop
but then I decided to sleep tight
Hello...
You all have dumb names anyway
How did you become an actor
My dad is a politician
and money was a factor
Hello Mr. Stupid Face
Why did you buy that red car
My girlfriend said she would leave me
for the guy who runs the 'Bull Frog' bar
Hello Mr. Think twice
Where did you go last night
I wanted to dance to hip hop
but then I decided to sleep tight
Hello...
You all have dumb names anyway
Decision
How about a signal? I will signal to you
Red means stay
Green means go
Yellow means I'm a coward
and you are a whore
My heart beats green,
but go with red.
I'll listen to that damned Coldplay song instead
yellow.
Red means stay
Green means go
Yellow means I'm a coward
and you are a whore
My heart beats green,
but go with red.
I'll listen to that damned Coldplay song instead
yellow.
urge
This space has been dead and there has been no urge to write. To be fair, my friend Rorschach has already said this. But he has borrowed my words before, and since mine are on long vacation - I shall borrow his.
In my case though, i'm not sure it is entirely honest. The statement. There has been no urge for me to write what is permissible to be written in this space. The qualifier. That dear qualifier completes my sentence. It brings it meaning. Who is to say what will be your qualifier in your life, what will bring your life that completeness and meaning.
and how she rambles after such a long break. can we stop reading now
no wait. I have some more
Tamil movies. They are so shady post 11p.m. Yet here I am in complete drunken state watching them. In a way, its comforting to not have to see size minus ones and zeroes and whatever the fuck else they've come up with nowadays to describe really thin women. Yes, they look great but they have denied themselves a lot to get there and one can only hope it was worth all the food missed.
If it was pure genetics, man. screw them.
I wish I could've been a model. Then again, I was always allergic to cigarette smoke and I do love food. But whenever I pass the giant Zara ad on my way out of Phoenix Mills, I can't help but imagine myself standing there with a gaunt face and hunched up shoulders, pouting. Pouting that perfect pout - you might find the anorexic figure of me repulsive but some girl will look up at me and say - I want that dress.
Just, I want that dress
I do want that dress.
...
Please don't go, I have some more.
Umbrellas
what about them
I'm not sure about whether I like them.
I'm not sure if I like umbrellas. Am I happy they keep me dry. Do they even really keep me dry.
Seems like off late all they do is cause me massive disappointment and make me realise how completely incapable of handling basic responsibility I am.
I have lost (almost) 2 umbrellas in the past one week. One is lost for good - the other, since my friend dropped me home today, she has had the good sense to take the thing home.
Damn you umbrella. Who are you to make me feel this upset. Stupid piece of plastic crap.
....
Do you think you believe in alternate universes. Alternate lives. That with each huge decision you have in front of you which has a THIS WAY or THAT WAY situation attached - you are actually carving your life from then on out to go forth with one decision while the other goes with the other.
Lets say....You quit work, and you stay at work - the decision actually comes before you to be made - do you think, that stomachy feeling you get while making such decisions is actually a side effect to the creation of an alternate universe.
Do you think you and I live happily together in an alternate universe.
I gave an example of work, let's stick to that shall we? So basically there is a me out there who makes invitation cards or takes photographs for a living and there is a me here who continues as life is. If this phenomenal alternate universe creating ability truth were to be revealed to you - would you feel happier making the dumbass decision of continuing with life as is - or would you leave that to your alternate self.
Does that matter.
....
I broke an entire bottle of pickle this morning. So the pickle is also wasted because it may have bits of glass in it now. It was a pickle which really made me happy. Lime pickle. The other pickle couldve gotten messed - but no, it was this lime pickle.
Maybe the other bottle broke in an alternate universe. snicker*
Fuck you.
Seriously.
In my case though, i'm not sure it is entirely honest. The statement. There has been no urge for me to write what is permissible to be written in this space. The qualifier. That dear qualifier completes my sentence. It brings it meaning. Who is to say what will be your qualifier in your life, what will bring your life that completeness and meaning.
and how she rambles after such a long break. can we stop reading now
no wait. I have some more
Tamil movies. They are so shady post 11p.m. Yet here I am in complete drunken state watching them. In a way, its comforting to not have to see size minus ones and zeroes and whatever the fuck else they've come up with nowadays to describe really thin women. Yes, they look great but they have denied themselves a lot to get there and one can only hope it was worth all the food missed.
If it was pure genetics, man. screw them.
I wish I could've been a model. Then again, I was always allergic to cigarette smoke and I do love food. But whenever I pass the giant Zara ad on my way out of Phoenix Mills, I can't help but imagine myself standing there with a gaunt face and hunched up shoulders, pouting. Pouting that perfect pout - you might find the anorexic figure of me repulsive but some girl will look up at me and say - I want that dress.
Just, I want that dress
I do want that dress.
...
Please don't go, I have some more.
Umbrellas
what about them
I'm not sure about whether I like them.
I'm not sure if I like umbrellas. Am I happy they keep me dry. Do they even really keep me dry.
Seems like off late all they do is cause me massive disappointment and make me realise how completely incapable of handling basic responsibility I am.
I have lost (almost) 2 umbrellas in the past one week. One is lost for good - the other, since my friend dropped me home today, she has had the good sense to take the thing home.
Damn you umbrella. Who are you to make me feel this upset. Stupid piece of plastic crap.
....
Do you think you believe in alternate universes. Alternate lives. That with each huge decision you have in front of you which has a THIS WAY or THAT WAY situation attached - you are actually carving your life from then on out to go forth with one decision while the other goes with the other.
Lets say....You quit work, and you stay at work - the decision actually comes before you to be made - do you think, that stomachy feeling you get while making such decisions is actually a side effect to the creation of an alternate universe.
Do you think you and I live happily together in an alternate universe.
I gave an example of work, let's stick to that shall we? So basically there is a me out there who makes invitation cards or takes photographs for a living and there is a me here who continues as life is. If this phenomenal alternate universe creating ability truth were to be revealed to you - would you feel happier making the dumbass decision of continuing with life as is - or would you leave that to your alternate self.
Does that matter.
....
I broke an entire bottle of pickle this morning. So the pickle is also wasted because it may have bits of glass in it now. It was a pickle which really made me happy. Lime pickle. The other pickle couldve gotten messed - but no, it was this lime pickle.
Maybe the other bottle broke in an alternate universe. snicker*
Fuck you.
Seriously.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Love song
First thing in the morning
I think of you
Today I also thought of spinach soup
Yesterday it was all about hula hoops
But nothing comes right before
A thought of you
First thing as I wake up
It's always you
Along with unfinished dreams of
Large blue infinity pools
Even the craziest nightmares
Its only you
Running out first thing in the morning
To my rescue
Thank you for saving me from TRex today
Yesterday you got me tickets to Coldplay
Day before the day before, I forget
But you were there nice and early, to make my day
I think of you
Today I also thought of spinach soup
Yesterday it was all about hula hoops
But nothing comes right before
A thought of you
First thing as I wake up
It's always you
Along with unfinished dreams of
Large blue infinity pools
Even the craziest nightmares
Its only you
Running out first thing in the morning
To my rescue
Thank you for saving me from TRex today
Yesterday you got me tickets to Coldplay
Day before the day before, I forget
But you were there nice and early, to make my day
Sticker Heaven
Get me a job in a sticker factory
I would never complain
And I'd give you some for free
Do you know anyone who doesn't like stickers? No really, do you. Tell me who. They may have some serious problems boss. Have a quiet chat, suggest some THERaPy! Ok, ok, calming down now.
I love stickers. I love even pointless stickers. Yesterday I got a few tshirts we'd ordered delivered to me at work. It came with four tiny free stickers. I was so fucking kicked! Aaa. I used to have a sticker album when I was in London (read - when I was nine). That was mostly because all the girls in my class used to have one and in the break or whatever free class - they'd sit and pour over each others' collections. So my parents not wanting me to feel left out, got me an album and some stickers as well.
They were really nice stickers - but i got duped into taking torn ones or unsticky ones in exchange for mine. (There's a really long background story to my whole London experience here - but I won't go into that right now. Basically the girls treated me like shit most of the time because I was puny and spoke funny) Anyway, it didn't take me long to figure out what they were doing but continued with my naive act so they'd at least talk to me and I could pretend I had some friends.
I think I should go get a sticker album now. I have a decent collection still - i can't help but pick up some of these ultra cute stickers I see. Ok yay something do to (which isn't work).
Yesterday I sat and created some stickers. It was super wonderful. Well I like them.
Ok bye
I would never complain
And I'd give you some for free
Do you know anyone who doesn't like stickers? No really, do you. Tell me who. They may have some serious problems boss. Have a quiet chat, suggest some THERaPy! Ok, ok, calming down now.
I love stickers. I love even pointless stickers. Yesterday I got a few tshirts we'd ordered delivered to me at work. It came with four tiny free stickers. I was so fucking kicked! Aaa. I used to have a sticker album when I was in London (read - when I was nine). That was mostly because all the girls in my class used to have one and in the break or whatever free class - they'd sit and pour over each others' collections. So my parents not wanting me to feel left out, got me an album and some stickers as well.
They were really nice stickers - but i got duped into taking torn ones or unsticky ones in exchange for mine. (There's a really long background story to my whole London experience here - but I won't go into that right now. Basically the girls treated me like shit most of the time because I was puny and spoke funny) Anyway, it didn't take me long to figure out what they were doing but continued with my naive act so they'd at least talk to me and I could pretend I had some friends.
I think I should go get a sticker album now. I have a decent collection still - i can't help but pick up some of these ultra cute stickers I see. Ok yay something do to (which isn't work).
Yesterday I sat and created some stickers. It was super wonderful. Well I like them.
Ok bye
Friday, April 08, 2011
Heal
It is beautiful to cry
To release your inside world of pain
Of real sorrow, real sadness
To release what would have otherwise eaten you alive
To feel that incredible burden reduce with each drop
With each trickle
Feel the sharp intake of breath slow,
Gain an alarming rhythm only to change
Into one which rocks you to sleep
To release your inside world of pain
Of real sorrow, real sadness
To release what would have otherwise eaten you alive
To feel that incredible burden reduce with each drop
With each trickle
Feel the sharp intake of breath slow,
Gain an alarming rhythm only to change
Into one which rocks you to sleep
Monday, April 04, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Glory
It's my day
It's my glorious bloody day
and I want to be
the Shining Wow
Do you understand?
I won't always have my day
Neither will you
Now is the time to be
the Shining Wow
Cause the aahs and the oohs
Cause them all to go
Wow
She is shining.
It's her day
It's my glorious bloody day
and I want to be
the Shining Wow
Do you understand?
I won't always have my day
Neither will you
Now is the time to be
the Shining Wow
Cause the aahs and the oohs
Cause them all to go
Wow
She is shining.
It's her day
Monday, January 31, 2011
Will Power
I lack will power.
No, it's not always a bad thing. I realised this part of the 'I lack will power' series of thought very recently. It's become, 'I lack will power but that may be ok' now. Earlier? Oh earlier it was 'I lack will power bloody argh f. it all'.
Yes, coming back to my great Realisation. I was thinking through my lack of will power and wondering how well I'm going to make it in life love friendship world domination what not. I realised that a lot of stuff I cannot live without now in my life, I would have destroyed for good if my will power not being its lazy self, had been active and about.
I wouldn't be surprised if this post turns out to be one of those - oh she has something to say but this is such a public forum she wont say it she's just wasting our time bloody argh f.it all. It might guys, it just might. I've given you fair and lovely warning now, run along if you like.
No?
I suppose its a lack of will power combined with my ability to try and make dumbass decisions. Like - oh I am so angry I want to break my phone, break it break it break it - nah. Not the best example I know.
Pfuh. time to give up on this post.
I guess in a very convoluted way - what I've actually realised is the whole 'everythings for the best - dont worry about it' philosophy works for me. Because I lack will power to change my life - and often that has lead to my life working out just super for me.
YOU LACKED THE WILL POWER TO STOP READING SO DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT MY STUPID POST OK.
love*
No, it's not always a bad thing. I realised this part of the 'I lack will power' series of thought very recently. It's become, 'I lack will power but that may be ok' now. Earlier? Oh earlier it was 'I lack will power bloody argh f. it all'.
Yes, coming back to my great Realisation. I was thinking through my lack of will power and wondering how well I'm going to make it in life love friendship world domination what not. I realised that a lot of stuff I cannot live without now in my life, I would have destroyed for good if my will power not being its lazy self, had been active and about.
I wouldn't be surprised if this post turns out to be one of those - oh she has something to say but this is such a public forum she wont say it she's just wasting our time bloody argh f.it all. It might guys, it just might. I've given you fair and lovely warning now, run along if you like.
No?
I suppose its a lack of will power combined with my ability to try and make dumbass decisions. Like - oh I am so angry I want to break my phone, break it break it break it - nah. Not the best example I know.
Pfuh. time to give up on this post.
I guess in a very convoluted way - what I've actually realised is the whole 'everythings for the best - dont worry about it' philosophy works for me. Because I lack will power to change my life - and often that has lead to my life working out just super for me.
YOU LACKED THE WILL POWER TO STOP READING SO DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT MY STUPID POST OK.
love*
Pay me for Building Photos or Buy me an Ipad (this summarises the entire post - don't bother reading)
What am I doing now.
I am browsing 'architecture' - 'photography' in Deviant Art. It's a website. No I won't give you the link. Just go Google it. Ok not NOW.
Have I lost you? Hello?
Ok, anyway, trooping on. I am browsing 'architecture' - 'photography' and there are some really nice photos here of really nice (ok don't go look) houses, bridges, roads, buildings, rooms, beds and lights.
I would like you to pay me to take photos of buildings around the world. Are you listening? (Only bother listening if you are very rich and are willing to pay me very lots of money for something I have only shown about 10/100 talent in - and some of that 10 is helped along by pure 'fluke').
Fluke. I wonder if people use that word or if its just used in Chennai. I don't remember the last time anyone used that word. Hm.
Fluke.
Fluke describes quite a bit of my life actually. I don't mind at all. I'm so lazy, Fluking is the best thing that happens to me.
I suppose, fluking is a good thing to happen to anyone.
Fluking - I'm not sure that's a word. But my auto-correct isn't attempting to correct me. So, it is then.
Back to paying me lots of money for photos of buildings.
Actually, try doing that or just buy me an I-pad.
I am browsing 'architecture' - 'photography' in Deviant Art. It's a website. No I won't give you the link. Just go Google it. Ok not NOW.
Have I lost you? Hello?
Ok, anyway, trooping on. I am browsing 'architecture' - 'photography' and there are some really nice photos here of really nice (ok don't go look) houses, bridges, roads, buildings, rooms, beds and lights.
I would like you to pay me to take photos of buildings around the world. Are you listening? (Only bother listening if you are very rich and are willing to pay me very lots of money for something I have only shown about 10/100 talent in - and some of that 10 is helped along by pure 'fluke').
Fluke. I wonder if people use that word or if its just used in Chennai. I don't remember the last time anyone used that word. Hm.
Fluke.
Fluke describes quite a bit of my life actually. I don't mind at all. I'm so lazy, Fluking is the best thing that happens to me.
I suppose, fluking is a good thing to happen to anyone.
Fluking - I'm not sure that's a word. But my auto-correct isn't attempting to correct me. So, it is then.
Back to paying me lots of money for photos of buildings.
Actually, try doing that or just buy me an I-pad.
Scream Room
I'm not entirely sure of how normal this might be. Anyhow. I have come up with one way in which life at work - in my office - could be made better.
Idea:
Create a Scream Room
Things Needed:
1. Room.
2. Soundproofing substances
3. Cushioning for the walls
4. Breakable objects such as: a. Big Ugly Vase; b. Large Framed Photograph of X; c. Old Monitor etc.
5. Full Body Suit - to prevent any injury to person wishing to use the Scream Room.
6. Boxing Bag and Gloves
7. Comfy Corner - with tissues, music player (in unbreakable box - in case some people get bored of the vase), juice and cookies. For crying you doofus.
8. Some guy who will set up the Scream Room, replace broken objects and occasionally join you inside for a (uncreepy) dance and jig, and listen to you bitch for 20 minutes and slap you if you request it.
Purpose:
You need me to spell it out? Really? I thought not.
Results:
Hypothetically - Happier Employees.
Idea:
Create a Scream Room
Things Needed:
1. Room.
2. Soundproofing substances
3. Cushioning for the walls
4. Breakable objects such as: a. Big Ugly Vase; b. Large Framed Photograph of X; c. Old Monitor etc.
5. Full Body Suit - to prevent any injury to person wishing to use the Scream Room.
6. Boxing Bag and Gloves
7. Comfy Corner - with tissues, music player (in unbreakable box - in case some people get bored of the vase), juice and cookies. For crying you doofus.
8. Some guy who will set up the Scream Room, replace broken objects and occasionally join you inside for a (uncreepy) dance and jig, and listen to you bitch for 20 minutes and slap you if you request it.
Purpose:
You need me to spell it out? Really? I thought not.
Results:
Hypothetically - Happier Employees.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Resolutions: New Year
There are a few resolutions I make and break every year. The most consistent one being "I will stop being so bitchy and will not constantly judge people". Every single year. If I were a smoker (I'm not), I'd have found it far easier to quit smoking than to quit bitching. Well, that's a pretty silly line - given that I'm not a smoker and I couldn't possibly know how hard it is to quit. But, even if I were to grant it to all you smokeheads that it is super f.ing difficult - this is more.
Ok enough.
The next are usually - be a nicer person. Try and do something good for the community. Try and learn to play an instrument. All, always broken.
This year, one new year's day, I was taken to this tamil movie called "Easan".
Ok enough.
The next are usually - be a nicer person. Try and do something good for the community. Try and learn to play an instrument. All, always broken.
This year, one new year's day, I was taken to this tamil movie called "Easan".
It. was. excruciatingly. depressing
I can't tell you - it covered the entire range of depressing topics known to man. Politics, corruption, murder, incredibly bloody violence involving a lot of very very heavy metal objects landing on underaged people of all sorts, prostitution, eve teasing, rape, rape. Gang rape. rape of a speech-impaired girl. repeated rape.
F.
I resolved never to watch a depressing movie again. I was so angry at my cousins for taking me to watch that movie.
Movies, for me, are supposed to take you somewhere happy. To let you escape into a world you don't mind sacrificing a couple of hours for. Not to bring you down to hell. Not to make you believe there isn't any hope left in this world. That noone could convince you to have a child - that not even you are such a sadist.
Ugh
I hate that movie. I hate it.
The rest of new years was lovely. This is going to be a big year and I can't wait to get on with it.
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